Paris: Rory, I clocked in.
Rory: Cool.
Paris: They gave me this card, and it had my name on it. And I shoved it in the clock thing, and it made the punchy sound, and I'm officially on the job.
Rory: Great.
Paris: And I'm prepared, too. I was a little nervous last night about making small talk with co-workers, so I went to the video store and rented Working Girl and the first season of Just Shoot Me! Got a couple of Wendie Malick bon mots that have already come in handy.

Emily: She's not serving salmon puffs.
Richard: Good night, Mr. Beckett.
Emily: We've never not served salmon puffs. Not in 25 years have we staged an event without salmon puffs.
Richard: Emily, please. It's Rory. What she tackles, she conquers. This girl could name the state capitals at 3, recite the periodic table at 4, discuss Schopenhauer's influence on Nietzsche when she was 10. She's read every book by every author with a Russian surname and had a 4.2 grade-point average at one of the toughest schools on the east coast. If she's excluding salmon puffs, she has a good reason to exclude salmon puffs. And I, for one, have complete confidence in her ability to tackle this job, and so should you.
Emily: Fine, go back to your Beckett.
Richard: Thank you.
Emily: Salmon puffs.

Jackson: So did anybody see that new show on TV last night?
Lorelai: Where they were solving crimes by cutting bodies open and poking their organs?
Jackson: No.
Sookie: Where they're solving crimes from 30 years ago by going to graveyards and cutting open bodies and poking their organs?
Jackson: No.
Lorelai: Oh. The one where people are missing, and they find their bodies, cut them open, and poke their organs, and that's how they solve crimes?
Jackson: No.
Lorelai: What else is on?