Rory: "Forget it, Jake. It's Chinatown."

Rory: Know what I love most about Harvard?
Lorelai: No, what?
Rory: They don't sell giant foam fingers.
Lorelai: No, they've got class out the wazoo.

Lorelai: Home.
Rory: Feel like we've been gone a long time.
Lorelai: You know, it's weird. Every time I leave town, even for just a little while I always expect everything to look different.
Rory: And it never does.
Lorelai: It never does.

Emily: What's that?
Lorelai: That is a Harvard squirrel.
Emily: Good grief.
Rory: Sitting on a Harvard rock.
Lorelai: Doesn't he look smart?
Emily: He looks dirty. Next.
Lorelai: That's Rory's dorm and part of my finger.
Rory: It's not my dorm yet. We just saw a dorm and figured it might be mine.

Emily: Oh, my God. You didn't.
Lorelai: What?
Emily: You did!
Lorelai: I did what?
Emily: You eloped. I knew you'd do it. I knew you'd do anything to keep me out of this wedding.
Lorelai: Mom, that's not-
Emily: Well, that is just cruel, Lorelai. A mother waits and plans for this day, even your mother.
Lorelai: Yes, but-
Emily: I bought a new dress. I got my hair done.
Lorelai: It looks nice.
Emily: And tonight you just waltz in here, torture me for hours with these ridiculous slides, only to let me know at the last possible minute-
Lorelai: Mom, Max and I are not together anymore. The wedding is off.

Lorelai: What, Mom? What are you thinking? Just tell me.
Emily: I was thinking, I guess I have to return your gift.
Lorelai: My gift?
Emily: That's right.
Lorelai: You'll have to return my gift. That's what you were thinking?
Emily: That's right.
Lorelai: That's it?
Emily: That's it.
Lorelai: Oh. So you got me a gift already?
Emily: You were getting married. Gifts are expected. It's the proper thing to do. So, how does ice cream sound?

Lorelai: Hey, am I too far from the curb?
Rory: Oh ,you're within 5 feet.
Lane: Close enough for jazz.
Rory: What?
Lorelai: Hmm?
Rory: Look it up?
Lorelai: You got it.

Luke: I've been feeling like a jerk.
Lorelai: Why?
Luke: The way I had to come down on Max, I don't know. I was being a... What's that word you use? 'Pickle-schnitz'?
Lorelai: Schnickelfritz?
Luke: Yeah, that's it.

Lorelai: Luke, it's okay, really. I think I'm gonna keep it.
Luke: What?
Lorelai: Yeah. It's beautiful. You made it for me, and it doesn't have to be a wedding chuppah. It can just be a beautiful archway in our yard. I'll grow stuff on it.
Luke: Well, okay. I'll help you move it around the yard, wherever you want it to be.
Lorelai: Well, that would be good.

Luke: Well, listen I'm no financial genius, but we can sit down sometime. You can pick my brain on the few things I do know about.
Lorelai: Really?
Luke: I've been around some.
Lorelai: Can I ask you stupid questions?
Luke: There is no such thing.
Lorelai: How does ink come out of pens?
Luke: All right, there is such a thing. But you're going to avoid that when we sit down, right?
Lorelai: Thank you.