Rory: So, Grandpa, when's your next trip?
Richard: Madrid, the twelfth. I should think there's a nice edition of Cervantes in it for you.
Rory: Gracias.

Emily: What was Luke doing at your house?
Lorelai: Look, there's no ice. I'll get some.
Emily: I asked you a question.
Lorelai: He was helping me find the bird, Mom.
Emily: Really?
Lorelai: Yes, really.
Emily: And how did he know the bird was missing? Was he strolling by your house and he heard your plaintive cries for help?
Lorelai: Mom!
Emily: Or the helpless cheep of a chick in trouble?

Lorelai: I called him, Mom, okay? I called him and asked him to come over and help me find the bird, okay?
Emily: It seems like this man is always around when you're in trouble.
Lorelai: He's a good friend.
Emily: Oh, please.
Lorelai: Do we have to discuss this?
Emily: Lorelai, I'm getting a little tired of being lied to.
Lorelai: Apparently we do.
Emily: This man was at Rory's birthday party. He came to the hospital with you. He's the male lead in every story you tell. You go to the diner every single day. I've seen how he looks at you, the way you look at him. I'm not a fool.
Lorelai: Mom, please.
Emily: Why do you treat me like I don't have a clue in the world as to what is going on in your life? Now I'm asking you, as a favor if you have any respect for me at all as your mother, just tell me. Do you have feelings for this man?
Lorelai: ... I don't know. Maybe I do. I haven't given it that much thought. [sighs] Maybe I do.
Emily: Thank you. I'm glad you were finally honest with me. Now we can discuss what on earth you could possibly be thinking. Don't forget the ice.

Lorelai: So dinner. Thoughts?
Rory: Let's have some.
Lorelai: How about Chinese?
Rory: Sounds good.
Lorelai: Okay, I need to stop at the market and get fruit.
Rory: Why?
Lorelai: I think I'm getting scurvy.
Rory: Really?
Lorelai: Well, yeah. Either that or a cold. But, either way, I need some fruit.

Dean: So, who's Donna Reed?
Rory: What?
Lorelai: You don't know who Donna Reed is? The quintessential '50s mom with the perfect '50s family?
Rory: Never without a smile and high heels?
Lorelai: Hair that if you hit with a hammer would crack?
Dean: So, it's a show?
Rory: It's a lifestyle.
Lorelai: It's a religion.

Rory: My favorite episode...
Lorelai: Mm, mm. Tell me.
Rory: ...is when their son, Jeff, comes home from school, and nothing happens.
Lorelai: Oh, that's a good one. One of my favorites is when Mary, the daughter, gets a part-time job... and nothing happens.
Rory: Another classic.
Dean: So what's this one about?
Lorelai: Uh, this one is actually quite filled with intrigue. The husband, Alex, comes home late for dinner, and he didn't call.
Rory: Might as well kick the dog, too.

Dean: I don't know, it all seems kind of nice to me.
Rory: What does?
Dean: Families hanging together, a wife cooking dinner for her husband. And look, she seems really happy.
Lorelai: She's medicated.
Rory: And acting from a script.
Lorelai: Written by a man.
Rory: Well said, sister suffragette.
Dean: Well, what if she likes making doughnuts and dinner for her family and keeping things nice for them? [Lorelai and Rory glare at Dean] Okay, I feel very unpopular right now.

Rory: Can brains hurt?
Lorelai: Yes, it's hypochondria hour.
Rory: No, I'm serious. Last night, when I was reading my biology chapters I distinctly heard a ping in the vicinity of my brain.
Lorelai: Your brain pinged?
Rory: Yeah. It just went dink.
Lorelai: Well then, honey, your brain dinked. It didn't ping.
Rory: Well, I don't think a dinking brain is any less worrisome than a pinging brain.
Lorelai: You got me there.
Rory: So should I go to a tumor doctor?
Lorelai: No, you don't have a tumor. You're reading too much. You're probably just losing your eyesight.
Rory: Thank you.
Lorelai: You're welcome.

Lorelai: Hi, can you take a little constructive criticism?
Luke: No.
Lorelai: Okay, this place could use a makeover. Yeah, it needs sprucing up, like a coat of paint.
Luke: I don't spruce.

Lorelai: Okay. How about this? I'll help you. I love to paint.
Luke: You do?
Lorelai: Yes, I do.
Luke: You love it?
Lorelai: I want to marry it.
Luke: You have strange passions.
Rory: She likes washing dishes, too. She's multifaceted abnormal.
Lorelai: Oh, come on. We'll drink a couple of beers, sing painting songs.
Luke: Painting songs?
Lorelai: Yeah, painting songs. Like, you know, the song that goes... [sings] Grab your brush and grab your rollers All you kids and all you bowlers We're going paintin' today... [talks] Say yes, or there's another verse.
Luke: Well, I guess maybe if I had help.