Lorelai: Who wants to hear about my night?
Sookie: Oh, me.
Lorelai: Well, it started with Rory's baby chick getting loose in the house and ended with Rory and I up at 1:00 in the morning Iooking for Babette's new kitten, who we found asleep in the piano.
Sookie: Wow, that's very Wild Kingdom of you.
Lorelai: Yep, I'm like the Marlin Perkins of Stars Hollow.

Lorelai: Well, he got there and I was looking for Stella and he said, "Oh, you really have a baby chick loose in the house." Like I made that up or I don't know.
Sookie: Well.
Lorelai: Well what?
Sookie: Well, you call someone and say, "Can you come and help me look for my loose chick?" It's a little...
Lorelai: A little what?
Sookie: It sounds like a code for, "I'm not wearing any underwear."
Lorelai: That's not the code for, "I'm not wearing any underwear." Sookie, you're not serious.
Sookie: Look, the first time Jackson and I...
Lorelai: Yeah.
Sookie: I called him up and told him I had a bat in my attic.
Lorelai: Honey, you do have a bat in your attic.
Sookie: So he came over and we went in the attic and he knew there was no bat, and I knew there was no bat, but we pretended to look for it. Then when we couldn't find "the bat" we went downstairs and had a bottle of wine and...

Emily: Careful, Richard. That canary you ate is going to spoil your dinner.

Emily: The only drawback is that we had to rent the place furnished and Arthur had dreadful taste. Remember the library, Richard?
Richard: [chuckles] Pink and green. Horrible. It was just horrible.
Lorelai: Well, he's dead now, so he got his.
Emily: Lorelai, you're being morbid.
Lorelai: I'm being morbid?
Rory: New subject, please.
Lorelai: Joan and Melissa Rivers here think I'm being morbid.

Lorelai: Rory just dressed up in a cute apron the other day and so I was teasing her about it.
Richard: Why did you get dressed up in an apron?
Lorelai: Well, we've decided to give up on that pesky Harvard dream and focus on something more realistic. Mom, Dad, Rory's decided to become a maid, just like I was.
Emily: Is that funny? [to Richard] Did she think it was funny?
Richard: What would posses you say such a thing?
Emily: And in front of Rory?
Lorelai: I was kidding.
Emily: God, my heart stopped.

Lorelai: Why don't you tell them about your bird? That seems like a safe subject.
Richard: Your bird?
Rory: Yeah, it's for school. Each of us has to follow a chick through its growth process. Everything must be logged. Eating and sleeping habits.
Lorelai: Houdini habits.
Rory: She got out.
Lorelai: She ran far.
Rory: But she lived.
Lorelai: She's a better bird for it.

Luke: So you're sure we need this many cans?
Lorelai: Yeah, you need enough for two coats, touch-ups and little spots. No, I'm not sure.
Luke: Well, we got the paint, and the brushes, and the tarps, and all the other stuff the paint guy said we'd need. So I guess we're ready.
Lorelai: Yes, we are.
Luke: The only thing left to do is figure out when.
Lorelai: How about Friday?
Luke: Friday?
Lorelai: Yeah, I mean, you don't want this stuff lying around. I don't know if paint goes bad. But judging by the smell when it's fresh, rotten paint would be gross.

Lorelai: Kill me and bury me with that bike.
Rory: What is it, a Harley?
Lorelai: That is a 2000 Indian 80 horsepower five-speed, close-ratio Andrews transmission. I wanna get one.
Rory: No.
Lorelai: Why not?
Rory: You'd die.
Lorelai: Oh, that.

Christopher: Hi. Nice shirt. Take it off.
Lorelai: Christopher?
Rory: Dad! This is great! What are you doing here?
Christopher: I'm here to see you. And your mom, who's not saying anything about as loud as a person can.
Lorelai: Hello.
Christopher: A word. Perhaps there's a phrase in my future. Okay, why is that man staring at me?
Rory: That's Taylor Doose. He owns the market. He knows all and sees all.
Lorelai: So, what's with the just showing up, Mr. Spontaneity Guy?
Christopher: Well, my folks are in Connecticut, so I'm here to see them. On the way I thought I'd stop by and surprise the Gilmore girls. Are you surprised?
Lorelai: Oh, the teeniest feather could knock me in the gutter.