Lane: You want some ketchup, Kirk?
Kirk: No, thanks. The distinct charred flavor of this meat is like a delicacy. I wouldn't dream of obscuring it with condiments.
Lane: I think that's a pancake.
Kirk: Fascinating.

Lane: We've been dating for what, four months? And we live together, and I'm twenty. You're a guy, and I'm a girl. Birds do it, bees do it.
Zach: So, what do you think?
Lane: Oh, well, I have to wait until I get married.
Zach: What?
Lane: I have to wait till I get married?
Zach: I didn't know that.
Lane: Neither did I.
Zach: Whoa.
Lane: Yeah, whoa.
Zach: I don't know if I'm okay with that.
Lane: I'm not sure if I'm okay with that either.
Zach: What are you doing?
Lane: Cleaning up.
Zach: I'll do it.
Lane: No, Zach. You're not getting any tonight, the least I can do is clean up.

Lane: Oh, you should have seen Zach's face, it was like...
Rory: Like he realized he wasn't going to have sex with you until the wedding night.
Lane: Yes, exactly. God, this blows!
Rory: A lot of people wait until they're married to have sex.
Lane: Yes. Jessica Simpson and Donna from 90210.
Rory: And a couple of others.

Lane: Oh, my God, what if I never get married?
Rory: You'll get married.
Lane: If I never get married then I'll never have sex.
Rory: You'll get married, you'll have sex.
Lane: That's easy for you to say. You've already had sex with two different guys. All within a one year period.
Rory: Okay, you're making me sound a little slutty.
Lane: Well, why shouldn't you be slutty? You have absolutely no mother-taught morals standing in the way of you and your sluttiness.
Rory: Oh. Well, when you put it that way.

Lane: Is it great?
Rory: Is what great?
Lane: Sex! Is it great?
Rory: Not in front of the books, Lane.
Lane: What am I saying? Of course it's great. It's great. And I will never experience it because by the time I'm ready to get married all the men will have been taken by women who didn't grow up in my household!
Rory: Going out to find a husband?
Lane: I have to get extra trash bags for the diner.
Rory: All right. Call me later.

Rory: But I know you had the whole week planned out. I saw the DVDs.
Lorelai: Oh, hon.
Rory: Woman Under the Influence?
Lorelai: A.k.a. the story of me.
Rory: Soap marathon.
Lorelai: All can be done at a later time.

Luke: So, let 'em go to Weston's. Huh? All of you! If you can eat ceramic cow creamers and kitty cat salt and pepper shakers and stupid little flowers drawn in powdered sugar on your plate, then that's where you belong anyway!

Rory: Well, this is just wrong.
Lorelai: What?
Rory: You're washing two socks.
Lorelai: Well, they were dirty.
Rory: That's wasteful.
Lorelai: I really wanted to wear them tonight.
Rory: They are your dancing Santa Claus socks. You're not going to wear those for another ten months.
Lorelai: No, I can wear them eccentrically any time I want.

Rory: Oh, my God, it's amazing!
Richard: Leaves of Grass in Greek. A hundred years old, some beautiful engravings.
Rory: Now I have to learn Greek.

Sookie: Can we watch the Streisand A Star is Born first? I really love that scene where she chews on Kris Kristofferson's lip.
Lorelai: Yeah!