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‘Jews and Chinese Food’ Quotes Page 1 of 4    

Gilmore Girls: Jews and Chinese Food

515. Jews and Chinese Food

Aired February 22, 2005

Lorelai and Luke wind up working on the school production of Fiddler on the Roof. Meanwhile, Rory tries to patch up her friendship with Marty.

Quote from Lorelai

Rory: Hey, do you think Grandpa knew about it?
Lorelai: About Christopher coming?
Rory: Do you think he planned it with Grandma?
Lorelai: Look how panicked you are. No, honey, honestly, the whole thing reeks of Emily. I mean, not that I think he would have discouraged it, but I'm pretty sure she's the one who poisoned the apple and gave it to Dopey to bring to the party.

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Quote from Michel

Sookie: [answers phone] Hello?
Michel: I heard a noise in the kitchen.
Sookie: What kind of noise?
Michel: A "bam", or a "clang". Possibly a "crash". It might have a "wham" or a "kapow".
Sookie: Well, did you go check it out?
Michel: Excuse me, I'm extremely busy. Someone here has to work, I mean, the two of you just run off to do your little decorating project and you leave me here alone.
Sookie: Michel! Did you actually hear a noise?
Michel: Of course I heard a noise. It was a "thwap" or a "vroom".

Quote from Michel

Sookie: [answers phone] What, Michel?
Michel: I'm smelling something very funny coming from the kitchen. Could be a pungent cheese, could be arson. Should I call the firemen to come, or should I just fetch some crackers?

Quote from Paris

Doyle: I'm Doyle, Rory's editor.
Paris: And my lover.
Lorelai: Okay, well, super.
Doyle: I don't think lover is exactly the correct term, Paris.
Paris: Really? What is the correct term, Doyle?
Doyle: At a later time, Paris.
Paris: Doyle and I haven't defined the social aspects of our relationship yet. Although we're having sex three or four times a week, so apparently the sexual aspects of our relationship are crystal freaking clear.

Quote from Rory

Lorelai: So I notice you told Paris about my breakup.
Rory: Ah. I'm sorry, I didn't tell her on purpose. It's very difficult to keep anything from Paris. It's very close proximity and I swear she has a dog's ears.

Quote from Lorelai

Lorelai: This was a good idea, having dinner.
Rory: Well, it is Friday night.
Lorelai: Yeah, but Friday night dinner without Ava and Adolf. Lovely.
Rory: It's really not fair calling Grandpa Adolf.
Lorelai: No, no, that was Grandma.

Quote from Rory

Lorelai: How are you?
Rory: Hmm, well, I study, then study, then after a little study break, I study.

Quote from Lorelai

Lorelai: So what did he say?
Rory: He wanted to give me his side of the story.
Lorelai: Oh, well. Unless his side of the story includes having his long-lost evil twin lock him in the closet and come to the wedding in his place, his side of the story doesn't exist.

Quote from Lorelai

Lorelai: You are so not starving here at Yale.
Rory: My lips are frozen.
Lorelai: Look, while it might seem a little eccentric to eat ice cream in forty degree weather-
Rory: You think?!
Lorelai: There are several advantages to the concept. For example, since it's cold out, the ice cream won't melt, therefore it'll last longer.
Rory: So then my lips will stay frozen for double the amount of time.
Lorelai: Mmm-hmm. Okay, I lost the feeling in my tongue.
Rory: I'm throwing the ice cream out now.
Lorelai: Oh, my God, it's frozen. It's like an ice cube. A tongue-shaped ice cube and it'll never thaw.
Rory: Then why don't you shut your mouth? Let the heat stay inside?
Lorelai: That was hostile. And useful. Thank you.

Quote from Lorelai

Woman: Here we go. Three coffees.
Lorelai: Oh, no, I'm sorry. I only ordered one.
Woman: You said "Coffee, coffee, coffee".
Lorelai: [chuckles] No, see, I said... "Coffee-coffee-coffee".
Woman: Right.
Lorelai: As in I really need "Coffee-coffee-coffee." You know...
Woman: No.
Lorelai: Coffee-coffee-coffee is a saying, like an exaggeration. It's a funny, desperate cry for caffeine. It's just my thing. 'Cause everybody knows I drink a lot of coffee, so the day can't start until I've had my jolt. It's a bit. My bit. It's not a particularly funny bit unless you know me... And, you know what, three coffees would be great. What do I owe you?

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