Rory: Hi. I'd like a large caramel macchiato with an extra shot and whip cream, please.
Barista: Coming up.
Rory: Wait, hold on. How much is that?
Barista: $4.85.
Rory: Okay, better drop the extra shot. What does that make it?
Barista: $4.20.
Rory: Better make it a small. What does that make it?
Barista: $3.30.
Rory: Better drop the whip cream. What does that make it?
Barista: Less calories.
Rory: Just a plain old small coffee, please.

Logan: It goes from my hand to the professor's.
Rory: Like I'm going to lose it.
Logan: I saw you with your coins, plus let's remember Hemingway.
Rory: What about him?
Logan: Trusted that wife of his with the only copy he had of the novel he was working on. The silly woman lost it.
Rory: Not so. I know the story. Hemingway left it on a plane. His wife had nothing to do with it.
Logan: That's not the way I heard it.
Rory: Well, you heard it wrong.

Rory: Give me a hand! [Lorelai claps] Okay, Bob Hope's laughing in heaven, but I'm not.
Lorelai: [gasps] Bob Hope got into heaven?

Rory: Hey, you're using it.
Lorelai: Yes, I know.
Rory: Well, but I had dibs.
Lorelai: No, you didn't call dibs.
Rory: I'm a college student coming home on Spring Break. That implies dibs on the washer and drier.
Lorelai: There's no implied dibs in dibs. If you don't call it, you don't get it.

Lorelai: Well, I took the liberty of asking around town for you. Made you sound all pathetic and ragged. And there are a few temporary things you could take. You are very in demand in Stars Hollow.
Rory: Like what?
Lorelai: Well, the radio station needs someone to drive up the hill a couple of times a day and shoo the cows away from the transmitter.
Rory: I'm not good with livestock.
Lorelai: Well, the road crew needs a part-time "Slow Down" sign holder-upper. You get to wear a helmet.
Rory: I don't think so.
Lorelai: I saved the best for last. Andrew needs help doing inventory at the bookstore. I think that's probably your best bet.

Rory: Now I just need to borrow some clothes to wear to Grandma's.
Lorelai: You're in clothes.
Rory: Well, she'll insist I take my jacket off and I'm down to my "Give Bush a Wedgie" t-shirt.
Lorelai: Please wear that to Grandma's!
Rory: I'm going to borrow some clothes.
Lorelai: There's another twenty in it for you.
Rory: Start one of my loads.
Lorelai: Forty if you snap a picture of her seeing it.

Emily: We'll have to wait 'till next week to show you pictures. Richard bought this new digital camera that's supposed to be so simple a child can use it. So now we need to find a child who'll show us how. [laughs]

Lorelai: How about dancing?
Sookie: Dancing! Yes! I'm a brick... da-da-da-da... house. Now, of course I can't really dance 'cause my ankles are completely swollen, and, uh, my stomach's a bit of a hindrance on the dance floor. But I can watch you dance.

Lorelai: We can go to a bar, hang out and talk.
Sookie: Sounds perfect. Of course, I tend to get a little depressed when I'm in a room full of people drinking and I can't have a cocktail. You know, did I tell you I'm having a recurring dream lately, about a magic pina colada? With whip cream, and a ton of rum, and a talking little paper umbrella.
Lorelai: If you're having dreams like that, you don't need a cocktail. How about a movie?
Sookie: I have to get up to pee every five minutes. But, we can sit on an aisle near the back and you can fill me in on what I missed.

Police Officer: Is this your boat?
Lorelai: Ah, technically. It is. Yeah. And I'm sorry that it's parked out here like this, but, see, it's supposed to be auctioned off for charity for the National Boating for Peace and, uh, Low Blood Sugar Organization For Tiny Children, and so they delivered it early and not finished, and so it was dropped off here, so, to be picked up by the boat finishing guys. I'm supposed to move it. But there was this kitten. In a tree. He had a cold, and I had to bring him a Kleenex, and...
Police Officer: Just move it on street-cleaning days.
Lorelai: Yes, ma'am.