Rory Quote #726
Quote from Rory in That's What You Get, Folks, For Makin' Whoopee
Rory: Um... okay. You have to walk me through what happened. I mean, not graphically, but help me out here.
Lane: Okay. So we decided that, for our first time, since it was such a big deal and everything, since we've been waiting and waiting and - God, if I'd known what it was going to be like, I would have gladly kept waiting. But anyway, we decided to re-create the scene in From Here to Eternity.
Rory: Wow. Ambitious. Sex on the beach.
Lane: Anyway, the whole thing was a disaster. Because you know what movies don't tell you? That sand is basically dirt. It was dirty. It was cold. My hands were shaking. And I'm trying to remember stuff from school about condoms and bananas. And then suddenly I realize, we got crabs, live ones that are scuttling all over us. And Zach starts freaking out because, apparently, he's afraid of shellfish. And it's getting colder and dirtier. And at some point, this pervert with a snorkel mask appears out of nowhere. And I'm thinking, "We took three buses from Pedro's apartment for this."
Rory: Oh, Lane.
Lane: Yeah, just talking about it makes me feel sick and queasy.
Rory: Well, you are sick and queasy. You have a parasite.
Rory: But, okay. Once you feel better, you really should try sex again indoors in a bed.
Lane: I'm open to the idea of a sexless marriage. I mean, it happens for some people, eventually. Why wait?
Rory: Try a bed first. Seriously. You would not believe what a comforter can do in this kind of situation.
Gilmore Girls Quotes
‘That's What You Get, Folks, For Makin' Whoopee’ Quotes
Quote from Rory
Rory: And, already, you are way ahead of a lot of people as far as parenting skills go. Like Britney. Britney Spears does not know which end of a baby goes up. And Courtney Love? She's no June Cleaver.
Lane: Yeah, I bet I could be a better mother than Courtney Love.
Rory: My sock drawer could be a better mother than Courtney Love. But, yes, of course you would be. And Michael Jackson. You know not to name a child "Blanket."
Lane: I do know that. Do not name your baby after an inanimate object.
Rory: See? Way ahead of the pack.
Lane: Yeah. Hey I wonder if Blanket ever met Tom and Katie's baby, Pillow.
Rory: Yeah, that would be a perfect playdate.
Lane: Yeah, when it's nap time, they would be totally set.
Rory: And then they could invite Gwyneth's Apple over afterward for a little snack.
Lane: Banjo, Rachel Griffiths' baby, could play for them.
Rory: And then they could all jump in Mia Farrow's Satchel and make fun of, uh... what's his face?
Lane: Oh, Pilot Inspektor Lee.
Rory: Yeah. [both chuckle]
Quote from Lorelai
Rory: So why'd you get up so early?
Lorelai: Mm, well, couldn't sleep. And, initially, I was at a loss. I mean, how would I pass the time until my one and only offspring, the fruit of my loins-
Rory: Too early.
Lorelai: ...loin fruit that she is, straggled out of bed to grace me with her presence? But then I asked myself, "W.W.T.B.F.C.D.?" And it came to me in a flash. "I'm gonna make waffles."
Rory: "What would the Barefoot Contessa do?"
Lorelai: Exactly.
Rory: Barefoot's one word.
Lorelai: Shut up, loin fruit.
Quote from Kirk
Kirk: It's a diner, Luke.
Luke: A diner called Kirk's?
Kirk: It's the name my mother gave me. Top you off there, Jake?
Luke: Why are you doing this?
Kirk: I just saw a need, and I filled it. Seemed to me Stars Hollow was in want of a real neighborhood joint, a watering hole where the townsfolk could mingle, a place where a fella could come and get a piece of pie, a cup of arbuckles', and a soupcon of small-town charm.
Luke: Yeah, well, Stars Hollow has already got that place. It's right across the street. It's called Luke's. Luke's. Ring any bells? Sounds a little like Kirk's, doesn't it?
Kirk: Luke, if you are suggesting that you were the very first person to ever think of naming a restaurant after yourself, I think that Denny Arby, and Tony Roma might have something to say about that, not to mention Mr. Chuck E. Cheese.
Luke: Chuck E. Cheese? Chuck E. Cheese is not a person.
Kirk: Luke, do you think a giant mouse opened a national restaurant franchise by himself?