Lorelai: You both agreed, then, okay. But, aren't you guys sleeping together?
Rory: Mom. It's college.
Lorelai: Oh, right. It's college.
Rory: We're both busy. We have class, we have friends. You know, it's good to just keep things cas, have fun. That's it.
Lorelai: Fun. Sure. I get it. Friends with benefits. No problem, I watch Oprah.

Michel: [on the phone] Okay, try something else. I don't care, just stop it. Block it with your body! Tienanmen Square! Be a hero! [hangs up]
Lorelai: Uh, Michel, what's wrong?
Michel: I will tell you what's wrong. Ned the bellman is wrong. He's useless. I gave him specific instructions and he ignored them.
Lorelai: What the hell is that?
Michel: No, no, no. Do not drive that here. It was not supposed to arrive for two more days.
Lorelai: Seriously, what is that?
Michel: My "over one hundred thousand dollar in cash and prizes".
Lorelai: That's what you won?
Michel: That, and many boxes of some sort of instant rice dish that I have yet to feel the need to sample.

Lorelai: Michel, I don't understand.
Michel: After I won this monstrosity, I told them I did not want it. I wanted the cash, but they said they would only give me half of what it was worth.
Sookie: Yeah. Jackson's cousin won a washer and dryer on the twenty five thousand dollar Pyramid, but he decided to take half the cash value 'cause he likes to go to the Laundromat to pick up women.
Michel: Well, I am not Jackson's cousin. I have all of my chromosomes, and I don't want half of the cash value. I want the entire hundred thousand dollars that was flashing under my face.

Robert: Business or pleasure? Social Origins of Dictatorship and Democracy: Lord and Peasant and The Making of the Modern World. Oh. Pleasure.
Rory: Have you read it?
Robert: I'm waiting for the film to come out.
Rory: Yeah, I heard Renee Zellweger is gaining a ton of weight to play the peasant.

Lorelai: Kirk, whatcha doin' here?
Kirk: I left Mother's.
Lorelai: No, did you have a fight? Did she take away your Beach Boys album again?
Kirk: No, I just got so excited about the thought of a new life. You know, of striking out on my own and being my own man. Right, Luke?
Lorelai: "Right, Luke"?
Kirk: So I did it. I packed my clothes and I gave my mother my key and I said good bye and I left.
Lorelai: Aw, Kirk, that's a big deal, you leaving like that.
Kirk: I know it is. But Luke explained to me that if I really want to move to the next level with Lulu and have a real, grownup relationship, with sleepovers and everything, then I had to get out.
Luke: I don't think that's exactly what I said.
Kirk: Oh, yes, it was. And I felt really good about it, until I realized that I had no place to go. I probably should have found an apartment first.

Lorelai: I mean, she's been so chatty lately, wanting to be able to talk about Logan and her life, so now I just don't know what to do.
Luke: You talk back.
Lorelai: I am, but I just feel like I need to be really careful what I say.
Luke: Oh, come on. That's ridiculous.
Lorelai: Well, she's not at home anymore. She's on her own.
Luke: Doesn't matter.
Lorelai: It matters a little. You know, there have been very few times in our relationship when I ever played the "mom card". But I always had it there in my back pocket. And when I used it she had to hear it and take it, 'cause she lived here. And even if she didn't like it or even if she got mad, the worst that would happen is she would run into her room and slam the door and blast the Jam. But then in the morning, I controlled the bathroom, and the, and the Pop-tarts, and she had to deal with me. And eventually we'd make up and it was over. But now...
Luke: Nothing's different.
Lorelai: Of course it's different. She's on her own. She's making her own decisions. My "mom card" is looking a little flimsier, and I don't know how much to say to her. If she doesn't want to hear it, she doesn't have to take it. She doesn't have to call, or come home.
Luke: She'll call. She'll come home.
Lorelai: Yeah. I hope so. I don't know.

Emily: Why won't you come to Friday dinner? Whatever happened between the two of you, I obviously fixed it, so-
Lorelai: You fixed it? You broke it! Just because Luke and I found a way to repair the damage doesn't erase the fact that it happened.
Emily: What I did I did out of concern.
Lorelai: Oh, please.
Emily: As your mother, I have the right to be concerned. Especially when it looks like you're taking your life down a completely disastrous path. I had to jump in, and-
Lorelai: Mom!
Emily: Lorelai.
Lorelai: Please hear me. If I want your input in my life in any way, shape or form, I will ask for it. Until then, do us all a favor and shut up! [Emily walks out]

Richard: Well, that was a pleasant evening.
Emily: Really? What dinner were you at?
Richard: Well, we weren't exactly sure she was coming, Emily.
Emily: I was sure. I don't understand it. Why wasn't she here?
Richard: Well, I'm guessing she had something to do.
Emily: Something to do? What does that mean, something to do?
Richard: It means she had a previous engagement or meeting. A dinner, perhaps.
Emily: I know what something to do means, Richard.
Richard: My apologies, Emily.

Emily: It doesn't make any sense at all. I went down there. I arranged the whole thing. She got her filthy diner owner back. What is the problem?
Richard: I don't know. Lorelai is as much of a mystery to me as she is to you.
Emily: I made a whole goose for three people. Wasteful.
Richard: Do you think it's possible that they didn't get back together?
Emily: What?
Richard: Perhaps it didn't happen. Maybe he didn't understand what you were telling him to do.
Emily: How could he not understand? I spelled it out for him, step by step. I spoke clearly and slowly. There is no way he didn't understand what I was telling him to do.
Richard: All right. Then perhaps he understood, but he simply didn't do it? He's not the most take-charge sort of fellow, you know. He never did follow through on my advice to franchise his diner.
Emily: Oh, my God, you're right. He didn't do it. He didn't go to her like I specifically told him to.
Richard: So it would seem.
Emily: What an imbecile that man is.

Lorelai: What is wrong with this picture?
Rory: You?
Lorelai: Look at you. An armful of bags and a potential twenty-minute sweater on the way, and look at me. Completely bagless.
Rory: Relax, the day's still young.
Lorelai: There are no more clothes out there for me. The Lorelai look is over. I wish someone had told me.
Rory: That would've helped.
Lorelai: Oh, see? That's what I want. Hey, come on. Let's follow her.
Rory: I'm not following that girl.
Lorelai: But she knows where my stores are and she looks about my size, so if she happens to have an aneurysm between now and tomorrow night...