Lorelai: [on the phone] No, Mom, I'm sure one crinoline will be plenty. No, she doesn't. I'm sure she doesn't. Yeah, in what scenario would I have bought Rory elbow-length kidskin gloves, Mom? Oh, sorry, in what scenario on my planet would I have bought Rory elbow-length kidskin gloves?

Lorelai: Twelve pairs of pantyhose?
Emily: It's going to be a long night. She's bound to have a run.
Lorelai: Twelve pairs.
Emily: There's the presentation, the circle, the curtsy, the fan dance.
Lorelai: Mom, there'd have to be a 12-kilometer run and a jujitsu demonstration for her to go through twelve pairs of pantyhose.
Emily: Does it really hurt to be prepared, Lorelai?
Lorelai: No, Mom, it doesn't hurt to be prepared.
Emily: Thank you.
Lorelai: The good news is, now she is prepared for her high-school graduation, her college graduation, her marriage, three to five anniversaries, a hostess gig, and jury duty, especially if she's sequestered.
Emily: You make me tired.

Rory: Actually, I'm not very good.
Dean: Which is really holding me back, because I'm a natural.
Lorelai: Hey, maybe you need a glittery glove and a freaky face.
Rory: At one point, Miss Patty thought Dean was going to get hurt, and she made me sit in a corner and watch.
Lorelai: Hey, nobody puts baby in the corner.

Christopher: I like that at the end of the day, I feel like I've done something, earned something.
Lorelai: I think that's really great.
Christopher: Only took me 10 years and several failed business ventures to figure out what I wanted.
Lorelai: Which is?
Christopher: Not my parents' life. Something you figured out at 16.
Lorelai: Actually, six months, but I just couldn't vocalize it yet.

Emily: Look at these flowers. Baby's breath. What is this, County General?
Lorelai: You look very nice, Mom. I like your dress.
Emily: Cotton tablecloths, folding chairs. It's not supposed to be like this. In my day, people sat in real chairs.
Lorelai: Mom, what's the matter?
Emily: I wanted my granddaughter to be presented to society in a beautiful, elegant ballroom, not a Shakey's.
Lorelai: The room is beautiful, Mom. You're being too critical.
Emily: There's Nan. I'm going to have a little talk with her about the proper height for a taper.

Dean: Hey, just wanted to see you before you became a proper lady of society.
Rory: What do you think?
Dean: I think you look like a cotton ball.
Rory: Why, thank you, Jeeves.
Dean: But a really cute cotton ball.

Lorelai: Are you two completely out of your minds? There's a ceremony going on in there. Young girls in ugly dresses and stupid fans are parading around in circles for God know's what reason, and you two are ruining it.

Richard: No. I didn't lose an account. I was taken off an account. I was taken off an account that I personally brought into this company 10 years ago.
Emily: There are other accounts, Richard.
Richard: I have been in charge of that account for 10 years!
Emily: How can you be so angry? Yes, they took you off that account but they also gave you a promotion.
Richard: Oh, Emily.
Emily: You said they moved you upstairs to a larger office and gave you a new title and a better parking space.
Richard: Emily, damn it! I am being phased out.
Emily: You are not.
Richard: What do you mean I'm not? I know whether I'm being phased out. I invented "phased out" for this company. Don't you think I did the exact same thing to Allen Parker?
Emily: Allen Parker retired.
Richard: Allen Parker was phased out. I now have his office. I now have his parking space. You know what happens from here? I lose more accounts slowly, but surely. They will put a younger man on them with me to be trained by the best. And then one day, they'll call and ask me to let that young man take a meeting without me, just to see how fast he's learning. And then, suddenly, that young man is given that account. And this happens again and again and again until I am nothing but a symbolic figurehead that they roll out for banquets and group pictures. And then, one day, Emily I will be asked to leave.

Luke: Back from the ball, huh?
Lorelai: Yes, I left behind a glass slipper and a business card in case the prince is really dumb.
Luke: Good and desperate thinking.

[Jess starts wiping down the counter while wearing an oversized plaid shirt and a backwards baseball cap]
Luke: What do you think you're doing?
Jess: Working.
Luke: So you think this is funny, huh?
Jess: I'm sorry, I thought this was the uniform.
Luke: You know what? That's fine. Have your little joke. Doesn't bother me at all. You just go over there and clean off that table. I'm ignoring you. You do not exist. [Jess starts cleaning a table] Okay. That's it. Get upstairs and change.
Jess: Whatever you say, Uncle Luke.
Luke: It's Luke. Just Luke. Mr. Luke. In fact, don't address me at all!