Shane: You need something?
Rory: No. No, I just... I was wondering if there's a money-back guarantee. You know, in case her hair falls out or something.
Shane: Sure. If your hair falls out, we'll give you your money back.
Rory: Good. You heard that. The second you go bald, you can come get your money back.
Lane: Rory, you're putting a damper on my Independence Day.
Rory: Sorry, let's go.

Lorelai: You are so not ready.
Luke: What are you talking about?
Lorelai: The grunge look is out.
Luke: Hey, I'm not dressing up for this.
Lorelai: Well, you need something better than that.
Luke: The whole point of this stupid class talk was for us to talk about our work and our success. This flannel shirt is my most successful outfit. I've closed many a deal in this outfit. It's my power outfit.

Lorelai: Oh my God.
Luke: What?
Lorelai: Jimmy Buffett?
Luke: Put that back.
Lorelai: You like Jimmy Buffett? He's so mellow.
Luke: I've just been to a few shows, that's all.
Lorelai: A few shows? Oh my God, you're a Buffetthead.
Luke: Is that the one you want me to wear or not?
Lorelai: Sing Margaritaville.
Luke: No.
Jess: That attitude's gonna lose you that toy.

Rory: What kind of pain is it?
Lane: Ever light your head on fire? I haven't, but I don't have to now 'cause I know how it feels.
Rory: I'll rinse it out.
Lane: No, we'd have to start all over again and now that I know how much pain there is, I'll chicken out for sure!
Rory: I'm getting dizzy from the smell.
Lane: Let's focus on my pain. Now read the bottle, tell me what to do in case of pain. Um, blah blah blah, do not apply to a broken scalp – is your scalp broken?
Lane: I don't know, maybe. I don't know my scalp that well.
Rory: There's nothing else about pain. Oh, a girl told me once that if your scalp is hurting from bleach, drink a 7UP. It's something to do with the bubbles.
Lane: The Kim household does not have soft drinks.
Rory: Well, what do you got?
Lane: Something called Salad Water imported from Korea. Believe me, it's nothing like 7UP.

Lorelai: It should have its own special display at the diner with a big old spotlight on it.
Luke: Don't they need my permission for this? This should be illegal.
Lorelai: No, those shorts with that tank top should be illegal.
Luke: Okay, stop now.
Lorelai: What was your girlfriend's name, Sissy?
Luke: As a matter of fact, no.
Lorelai: [as a Southern belle] "Oh, the girls just swooned when Butch Danes took the field."
Luke: I knew there was another good reason not to do this.
Lorelai: "Oh no, don't walk away, Butch. Well, if I thought you didn't care, I'd die, I'd just die."

Rory: So have you mentioned dyeing your hair to the band yet?
Lane: No, but they'll be cool with it. They've all got tattoos. Dave and Zach have musical themes and Brian's got Snoopy.
Rory: Poor guy.
Lane: Yeah, but he's a slamming bass player.

Lane: My first love, wow.
Rory: Yeah, wow.
Lane: I finally have a first love, like what you and Dean have.
Rory: Right... Exactly.
Lane: Of course, I don't exactly have what you and Dean have because you love Dean and Dean loves you back. In my situation, I love Dave and Dave thinks that I have a decent sense of rhythm.
Rory: Don't move, you'll drip.
Lane: God, you're so lucky... to love a guy who actually knows you love him and who loves you back. That's gotta be the best feeling ever.
Rory: I think this purple's gonna look good.
Lane: I want that. I want that really bad.
Rory: You'll have that. You will have your perfect first love and second love and any other love you want because you're great and purple heads will not be denied.
Lane: Now that should've been put on the box.

Lorelai: No, technically, I didn't drop out. I, kept going as long as I could while I got pregnant, which I would recommend to any girl. Not the getting pregnant part, obviously. Although, if that happens, you know... it shouldn't. I mean, it could but you should try to avoid it... anyway, I got my GED, yeah.

Lorelai: Look, you guys, this is a very important subject, and I promise that another time I would love to take you all for a cup of coffee and, and talk about... if you should even be allowed to drink coffee because coffee is for older... Butch Danes, everybody.

Lane: It's everything I hoped it would be.
Rory: It's very rock and roll.
Lane: We've gotta take a picture.
Rory: Get the camera.
Lane: I am a Kodak picture spot. Should I scowl or smile?
Rory: Surprise me.
Lane: This is the most radical thing a Kim has done since my cousin Nam got caught reading Maxim at summer camp.