Luke: Fine. Which one do you like?
Jess: The one before.
Luke: The one with two fridges.
Jess: No.
Luke: The one before had two fridges.
Jess: No, it was the one with the cat.
Luke: I hate cats.
Jess: I don't think the cat came with the place.
Luke: Yeah, but it had carpeting, so it'll always smell like a cat.
Jess: Clean the carpet.
Luke: Paint it pink.

Jess: Fine, the one next to the bank.
Luke: Too many windows.
Jess: What?
Luke: Six windows, all on one side, at 3:00 in the afternoon we're sitting in an oven.
Jess: So we get curtains.
Luke: Well, you'll have to help me put them up.
Jess: Great. Then we can hold hands and skip afterwards.
Luke: Stop saying that.

Lorelai: This, my friend, is a state-of-the-art CD clock radio that enables you to wake up to the barnyard animal of your choice.
Rory: That is great.
Lorelai: I have selected the Perky Piggies. You might choose the Cheery Chickens or the Goofy Goats.
Rory: This is as close to a farm as I wanna get.
Lorelai: Amen, sister friend.

Lorelai: Do you want something to drink? You have good timing, 'cause we shopped yesterday, and in addition to a case of Maybelline Fresh Lash mascara, I also bought some of that new freaky Coke with the lemon in it.

Rory: Jess and Luke are looking for an apartment.
Lorelai: You guys see anything good yet?
Jess: Nope.
Lorelai: Well, you know, there's some really cool places over on Peach. Or on Plum. Orange. Basically, any of your fruit-named streets are pretty nice.

Rory: Question.
Jess: Yes?
Rory: You come over. You seem to have a very firm grasp of the English language. You put together several full sentences even using a couple of words that contain two or more syllables. And then my mother appears. And suddenly, we need a thought bubble over your head to understand what you're thinking. Can you tell me why that is?
Jess: The verbal thing comes and goes.
Rory: I would really appreciate it if you would try to get along with my mom.
Jess: I took the Coke.
Rory: I know.
Jess: Personally, I think it's a little crazy to put lemon in Coke, but I took it anyhow.

Jess: Just because she's your mom or Luke's friend doesn't mean I have to get along with her.
Rory: My mother is a great person. She's also my best friend in the world. So if you care about me at all, you will consider that and be mildly polite to her.
Jess: What makes you think I care about you?
Rory: I don't mean care, like "care", care. I mean if you like me at all- Not "like", like. I just meant that if you think of me remotely as the sort of person that you could occasionally stand to talk to then you will try to get along with my mom. That's all.
Jess: Okay.
Rory: Okay?
Jess: I can't guarantee that it'll work, but I'll try.

Kirk: I'll give you 50 cents.
Gypsy: It's 65.
Kirk: Fifty-five cents.
Gypsy: It's for charity. There's no haggling.
Kirk: No, there's always haggling. Sixty cents. That's my final offer.
Gypsy: I'm sorry, I can't.
Kirk: Fine.
Gypsy: Kirk, come on, cough up another nickel.
Kirk: Forget it. It's the principle of the thing.

Jess: When was the last time you had those gutters cleaned?
Lorelai: It's been a while.
Jess: Yeah, I found an "I like Ike" bumper sticker up there.
Lorelai: Is it really bad?
Jess: It won't be by tomorrow.
Lorelai: I like hearing that.

Lorelai: So, how's school?
Jess: It's still there.
Lorelai: You on any teams or anything?
Jess: No. No.
Lorelai: Not a jersey guy?
Jess: Definitely not a jersey guy. Though the thought of throwing a ball at some jock's head isn't entirely unappealing. Look, I'm not really good at this small-talk thing.
Lorelai: You're doing okay.