Lorelai: Thanks, Taylor. Come on, let's get you to bed.
Luke: I'm gonna fall back to sleep and dream about running Taylor over in that car I was looking at.
Lorelai: Is there enough room to put his body in the trunk?

Paris: Oh, terrific. Bring 'em on in, Algernon. The more, the merrier.
Rory: It's Logan's doing. What can I do?
Paris: Tell him to stop.
Rory: We're not speaking, remember?
Paris: Well, they're putting our lives in jeopardy.
Rory: Oh, stop it.
Paris: They scream bling, draw eyes to the apartment. Bad guys see roses, then they come for our diamonds.
Rory: We don't have diamonds.
Paris: The doo-wop group doesn't know that. Yeah, by the window is good, next to the neon sign that says "Come pistol-whip us."

Lorelai: Hi, Lorelai Gilmore. I'm here to make your stay and the rest of the New England maple syrup council's stay as comfortable as possible.
Liam: So far, so good. Love the local color here.
Lorelai: Kirk, it's really not appropriate to be standing right next to me like this.
Kirk: But we work together.
Lorelai: But not here.
Kirk: Liam, can I ask you a question?
Lorelai: No, that's inappropriate, too, to ask him a-
Kirk: Would you pay a dollar to have your fortune told by a dog?
Liam: A dog?
Lorelai: It's for a carnival. It's very cute.
Kirk: A dog that has no experience telling people's fortunes?
Liam: I don't know.
Kirk: Well, you're no help.
Lorelai: Well, just part of our local color. He's purple. [chuckles] Get it? 'Cause local color and he's a color.

Lorelai: Sorry. Taylor? What are you doing back? I thought you were stranded at your sister's.
Taylor Doose: [hushed] Lorelai, please.
Lorelai: Weird time for line dancing.
Taylor Doose: Fine. Okay, I'm back. I got lucky last night and caught a plane out of Maine.
Lorelai: Even with the rain in Spain?
Taylor Doose: Will you be serious for second?

Logan: Look, I know I'm not your favorite person in the world.
Lorelai: No, you're definitely low on the list, right above the guy who thought up smallpox blankets.
Logan: Well, in my defense, I think I'm a notch higher than that.
Lorelai: You're not exactly in a position to comment on that, are you?
Logan: No.
Lorelai: No. In fact, let's take inventory of all the delightful things that have happened since you waltzed into my daughter's life. She was arrested, convicted. She's on probation. She'll have a criminal record unless we can get it expunged. She dropped out of school, moved out of my house. She didn't speak to me for 5 months, 3 weeks, and 16 days. No, wait a minute. Come to think of it, you are my favorite person.

Paris: Ah, Rory. New system. Here's your number.
Rory: Paris, you know me. I don't need a number and I'm the only Rory.
Paris: But you don't want me to play favorites, do you? We talked about this.
Rory: So we all have numbers?
Paris: Including me. I'm number one. Don't need a cap for that. If they can't remember the number one, they shouldn't be here.
Rory: Hey, can we talk in a little more private place?
Paris: Sure. If you're looking for 1 and 2, we'll be in the hallway.

Rory: I won't get into the hairy details, but it would really help if you could relieve some of the pressure here.
Paris: They think it's that bad?
Rory: You've taken away the magnets that indicate people are in the bathroom, so now they're afraid to go.
Paris: Well, they were going too much.

Rory: Come on, doggy swami, break's over.
Lorelai: He is liking his hat.
Rory: Well, it's very flattering. You know, I can man this myself if you don't feel like being here.
Lorelai: No, it's good for me. Nothing is a better distraction than a dog in a turban, telling fortunes.
Rory: It's a cliche for a reason.

Taylor Doose: [French accent] Ahh! Oui! Look at those games. It is so marvelous that I am here to see it. What a great country. J'adore.
Miss Patty: Taylor finally flipped his lid.

Lorelai: [wakes up] Oh, my God!
Luke: What is that?
Lorelai: What is- Is it in the house?
Luke: It's church bells.
Lorelai: How'd the church bells get in the house?
Luke: They're outside.
Lorelai: In the yard?
Luke: No, at the church.