Rory: Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no! I accidentally forgot to turn in my community-service vest.
Lorelai: So?
Rory: So this vest belongs to the state. I have now stolen state property. They're gonna give me community service for stealing my community-service vest.

Paris: We keep the door fully locked, even when we're home. We actually added the chains after there were a couple of break-ins on the street, but we've never had any trouble. We've got a very sophisticated crime-prevention system set up here. When we leave, we always keep the radio on. Rush Limbaugh, of course, so they know we have guns in the house. The lights are all on a timer, so don't touch the switches. And there's a motion detector in the hallway, so don't freak out when it goes on at night. Now, over here is our trusty dog, bloodhound. [dog barks on CD] Excellent for magazine pushers and pamphlet bearers of all types.
Rory: You've got it all covered.
Paris: Pretty much. That's our room. That's your room. They're both the same size, but we have an extra window 'cause Doyle has dreams about walls collapsing in on him, so he needs to sleep near glass.
Rory: Oh, my God! Were those gunshots?
Paris: No, that was just a car backfiring. The real gunfire actually sounds fake. You'll pick it up eventually. They call it "ghetto ear."
Rory: Something to look forward to.
Paris: Now, Doyle sleeps very deeply, so don't worry about the hours. I, as you know, haven't slept through the night since the first time I saw The Wizard of Oz, thank you Mom, so I tend to do my crafts in the middle of the night. But the walls are very thick so you won't hear a thing.

Luke: What in the hell do you think you're doing?
Kirk: I was just getting some coffee.
Luke: You came behind my counter.
Kirk: I saw Lorelai do it the other day.
Luke: Lorelai is my fiancee.
Kirk: So only people you're sleeping with are allowed behind the counter?
Luke: Yes.
Kirk: Well, I don't really know you that well, Luke. I mean, I know what you do for a living, and I know you're a Scorpio, and you smell okay, but we've never really connected on a deeper level.
Luke: Get out from behind my counter, Kirk.
Kirk: Well, now it's a definite no.

Luke: So, tell me, how was Paul Anka - the person, not the dog?
Lorelai: We didn't get to see him.
Luke: Why not? It's all you talked about.
Lorelai: The billboard was old and his show had actually closed a week before we got there.
Luke: So, who'd you end up seeing?
Lorelai: Well, it came down to Journey without their original lead singer, INXS without their original lead singer, Queen without their original lead singer, the Supremes without Diana, and, weirdly, the James Brown band without James Brown.
Rory: But we wound up seeing Tony Danza, who was sublime.
Lorelai: Oh, the tap dancing.
Rory: Why Taxi never utilized his musical-comedy skills is astonishing.
Luke: Sounds great.
Lorelai: Oh, and we snagged you a Paul Anka t-shirt.
Rory: Had some left over.
Lorelai: Wear it tonight.

Luke: Of course you're gonna wear white. Brides wear white. That's the rule.
Lorelai: Says who?
Luke: Y-you have to wear white. My mother wore white. Her mother wore white.
Sookie: Luke, Luke, Luke, Luke, Luke! Do you know who I am?
Luke: Of course I know who you are.
Sookie: Who am I, Luke?
Luke: You're Sookie.
Sookie: No, Luke. I'm not "Sookie." I'm "Sookie B.F.O.T.B."
Luke: What?
Sookie: Best Friend Of The Bride. It is my responsibility to help plan this event, to talk through all the details, to taste the cake and pick the invitations, and to keep you - the fiance of the bride - from having to pretend to be interested in things that he has no interest in.

Mrs. Kim: Look. Woman come in here. Tell me this is full set of 1950s milk glass. Does she think my mother dropped me on my head when I'm a baby? I know Nigella Lawson when I see it.
Lane: I'm going upstairs.
Mrs. Kim: Wait. Talk. How was work?
Lane: I handed people food for 6 1/2 hours. It's every little girl's dream.
Mrs. Kim: I'm making kimchi dumplings tonight.
Lane: I smell like burgers and fries, so I'll have to shower.
Mrs. Kim: Okay.
Lane: Which means I won't be ready for dinner for at least 45 minutes.
Mrs. Kim: Fine. I need to make the dumplings. Dumplings don't make themselves.
Lane: And you might want to put on your Korean television show. Because I'm gonna listen to music, and it's gonna be music you don't approve of. But I'm 21 now, so I'll listen to the music that I like when I like, and that's just the way it's gonna be.

Paris: It's going to be a great term, people, an important term, a term to change the history of the Yale Daily News. The work will be hard. It has to be hard. Nothing less than perfect will be tolerated. Please remember that I am your editor. I am not your mother or your hugger. If you need some love, get a hooker. If you're having a bad day, find a ledge or a way to deal. My door is not open to you ever. You have five minutes to enjoy your cookies. Welcome to the Yale Daily News.

Rory: But, you know, you might want to ease up just a tad.
Paris: What do you mean?
Rory: You know, the "five minutes for the cookies," the "no talking" signs posted everywhere, the "no decorating your desk" rule, the new demerit system, the locks on the bathroom doors. It's just all a little, um, harsh and restrictive. This is a newsroom. People should be able to talk, yell, joke around-
Paris: I don't agree.
Rory: Go to the bathroom.
Paris: Journalism is an art form, and the best art is created under repression, like Stalin's gulag. You think Solzhenitsyn could have written One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich on a yoga retreat?

Lorelai: What if this dress is really a bad sign, not a good sign? What if the dress is telling me that it's so right, it's wrong?
Rory: Mom.
Lorelai: What if I'm about to bail out and I don't even know it?
Rory: You are driving yourself crazy.
Lorelai: What if all the signs are saying that things shouldn't be this easy, that I shouldn't get the guy I want? What if it's like that Twilight Zone where the woman on a horse is being chased by another woman on a horse who turns out is older her chasing younger her, trying to tell her that she should not run off with the guy she's going to run off with because it will be a terrible, terrible mistake.
Rory: Okay, King George, take a breath, eat a fry, and listen to me.

Lorelai: Oh, my God. Look who's back.
Rory: Well, I believe it's those adorable Gilmore girls.
Lorelai: My, how we have missed them.
Rory: I hear they're different now. A little sad.
Lorelai: A little broke.