Luke: It's not that big a deal.
Lorelai: Okay.
Luke: I mean it's not like we tell each other everything.
Lorelai: No! Of course we don't! I mean, I tore a pair of panty hose this morning and I didn't tell you about it. Oh wait, I guess I just did.

Sookie: So, now that he lives in Litchfield, what's that supposed to mean?
Lorelai: According to Luke, nothing!
Sookie: But what about the diner?
Lorelai: Oh, he said the diner's fine, everything's fine!
Sookie: And he's gonna continue working here even though he's living there?
Lorelai: Yes, apparently he'll go from being grumpy Luke to grumpy-commuter Luke.
Sookie: Luke plus road-rage, there's a healthy combination.

Lorelai: Maybe I am insane, I mean what's the big deal right? Just because I go in there for coffee every day that doesn't make us friends.
Sookie: You are friends!
Lorelai: Yes, but I thought we were 'friend' friends, and apparently we're just coffee friends. I buy the coffee and he's my friend. It's like a dog and a liver treat. If you have a liver treat, the dog will like you and, that's us.
Sookie: Which one are you, the dog or the liver treat?
Lorelai: I was the liver treat, and I thought I was a collar or at least a really cute leash and I'm not.
Sookie: I wanna chime in and be supportive, but I don't know what you're talking about.
Lorelai: I'm talking about nothing, never mind.

Lorelai: What's the matter, is he hungry?
Sookie: No, it's the bells.
Lorelai: The bells aren't ringing.
Sookie: No, but they're about to.
Lorelai: He's crying in anticipation of the bells?
Sookie: He hates them. At first he just cried when they rang, and now he knows their schedule.
Lorelai: Oh, that's terrible!
Sookie: Believe me, the 5:00 AM-ers are the worst.

Lorelai: Oh, you missed a spot. This is really nice Luke. Can we fight again 'cause I need my rain gutters cleaned.
Luke: You think everything is your business. Everything is about you! Well, here's a newsflash. Some things are not about you.
Lorelai: Why are you yelling at me?
Luke: If I want to move in with Nicole, it concerns her and it concerns me, and that is it.
Lorelai: Yeah, I know.
Luke: It does not concern you! It is none of your business! I don't have to tell you anything! And you do not have the right to make me feel guilty because I didn't tell you anything.
Lorelai: I wasn't trying-
Luke: I have been tying my own shoes since I was I was four, I have repairing my own car since I was fourteen, and I have been making my own decisions since I could crawl!
Lorelai: What does any of that have to do with anything?
Luke: I owe you nothing!
Lorelai: Fine.
Luke: Nothing!
Lorelai: Fine!
Luke: And shovel your walk! It is a safety hazard and you can't just walk past it and ignore the fact that the snow is up to your ass!
Lorelai: You've got my shovel!
Luke: I loaned it to you three years ago!

Lorelai: [gasps] What, they lock the door to a church, are they serious? What if I need to do something holy?
Luke: Like commit vandalism?
Lorelai: Even she's sick of hearing the damn bells.

Lorelai: Oy! Would it kill God to dust?
Luke: Okay, now just hold the flashlight, do not do any moving spotlight gags and point it at me and yell "Freeze, drop your weapons."
Lorelai: How about if I shine it on the wall and do a dirty hand puppet show?

Luke: It's a little narrow up there, so we should just take the tools that we need, leave the toolbox down here.
Lorelai: God, these things are heavy. Don't you have a smaller toolbox?
Luke: No, why would I have two toolboxes?
Lorelai: 'Cause then you'd have a big one and a small one.
Luke: If you have a big one you don't need a small one. Don't say "dirty", it's too easy.

Lorelai: It's absolutely my business.
Luke: How?
Lorelai: Because! I wasted a week of my life adjusting to the idea that you had moved only to find out that you haven't moved.
Luke: How much adjusting did you have to do? Nothing's changed! I still see you everyday, I still cook your food, I still serve your coffee. What do you care?
Lorelai: I care.
Luke: Why?
Lorelai: Because I don't want you to move.
Luke: Why? Why don't you want me to move?
Reverend Skinner: [enters] Lorelai? Luke? Oh, thank God! Carry on.

Lane: Everything's so screwed up: my life, everything I'm doing.
Rory: It's not that bad.
Lane: It is that bad. I mean, look at this. Look at where you are, look at what you have. I'm so jealous you have a life.
Rory: You have a life too.
Lane: Yeah, just not a very good one.
Rory: Lane, come on. You're healthy, you have a band and a boyfriend, and so what if school is boring? You won't be in school forever. You have a good life.
Lane: I'm weak. I have no spine.
Rory: If you had no spine you'd be walking funny.