Lorelai: Can you hand me that burger again?
Rory: I thought you said it was bad.
Lorelai: Hey, that burger may be a disgusting burger, but at least it considers me its equal.

Lorelai: What just went down there?
Richard: Down where?
Lorelai: The handshake with the man in the gray suit. Did you score a deal?
Richard: Lorelai, one doesn't score deals in the insurance business. One builds relationships based on trust and fulfilling the client's needs. Mr. Lundquist and I just-
Lorelai: Mr. Lundquist?
Richard: Yes.
Lorelai: Lindquist from Aero International?
Richard: Yes.
Lorelai: You bagged the Swede?
Richard: Well, just as I didn't score a deal, I also haven't bagged the Swede. We simply talked. We came to an agreement. We shook hands.

Rory: Oh, right, Jess is the Anti-Christ, I forgot. He wanted to get into an accident. He was looking for something to hit because he's a murderer with a death wish and he wanted to kill us both, right?
Lorelai: I know you think that Jess is your friend, but he's not. He is a completely out-of-control, really angry kid who has no respect for Luke, who has no respect for me-
Rory: It was an accident!
Lorelai: And he was driving!
Rory: So what? No matter what I say, you're going to choose to blame Jess?
Lorelai: Yes, I choose to blame Jess.
Rory: Because you hate him?
Lorelai: That's right. I'm sorry. But when my daughter comes home broken, I get to hate the guy who broke her. That's how it works. He's gone. I win. You are wearing a cast, and I get to hate him forever.

Lorelai: I just had this image of 35 businessmen, six servers, one point man all leaning against that wall with glasses to their ears.
Rory: I don't think they needed the glasses.
Lorelai: We've got good lungs, you and I.