Lorelai: Cheeseburger, fries, onion rings and a cherry coke.
Luke: Any pie today?
Lorelai: No thanks.
Luke: Cutting back a little, huh? Trying to look good for the big day. Smart, very smart.
Lorelai: Make sure you check that frying oil with your face.

Lorelai: Now, please, Mom, tell me, why did you ask me to lunch?
Emily: Because I wanted to spend some time alone with my daughter.
Lorelai: Mom.
Emily: Well, Rory drops by after school every now and then, so we see her alone.
Lorelai: Mom.
Emily: But we never see you alone... unless Rory leaves the room for a second, and even then you try to go with her. If I had a nickel for every time you've used the "Girls always go to the bathroom together, Mom" line, I'd be a very rich woman.
Lorelai: You are a very rich woman.

Paris: Anything else?
Louise: Yes. I was thinking that maybe this year we should throw a little beginning of the school year dance. I mean, why wait until the tan fades to have a formal?
Paris: Dances are distracting.
Louise: Dances help bring in money to pay for those stupid topiaries you want in the quad.
Paris: Draft a proposal and have it on my desk by tomorrow. Madeline?
Madeline: I would like to explore the option of having a professional photographer take the senior class photos. Every year we use that cheesy picture place, and every year people wind up with those VH1 Before They Were Stars pictures, and I for one would like to stop the humiliation now.
Paris: How are we going to get a professional photographer?
Louise: Helmett Newton is my godfather.
Paris: Okay, sign him up... and tell him to leave the whips and chains at home.

Rory: Listen, I think it might be a good idea to consider getting behind this hemline issue.
Paris: You're kidding, right?
Rory: No. I mean, if girls want the option of making their skirts a little shorter, then who cares, right?
Paris: I care. I'm building a legacy here, Rory. You want the first stand I make against the faculty to involve a fashion choice? It would be my "gays in the military".
Rory: I just think it would be really smart to establish some goodwill among the other class presidents.
Paris: Why?
Rory: Because you have to work with them, and you might even need their support on something in the future. And throwing them a tiny bone like a hemline amendment is no big deal.
Paris: I don't know.
Rory: Look, it's right at the beginning of your term. No one will even remember the first stupid thing that you passed. You have plenty of time to establish your legacy. I mean it. By the time that you implement public executions for line cutters, hemlines will be a thing of the past. I was making a joke not a suggestion.

Lorelai: Gee, I wonder who else she's calling. She's probably on the phone to Kirk right now. "I heard through my spies you're taking my daughter out to dinner. Let's talk China patterns." God, I'm furious!

Emily: Your father made a crack the other day about my not being able to keep a maid.
Lorelai: Ah.
Emily: Of course, it's a gross exaggeration. Yes, I've had maids I haven't liked, but I've also had maids I've loved.
Lorelai: Name one.
Emily: Daiha.
Lorelai: Who?
Emily: You remember, she took you shopping once.
Lorelai: How old was I?
Emily: I don't know.
Lorelai: Guess.
Emily: Four, five.
Lorelai: Mom, you haven't liked a maid since I was four or five?
Emily: I have liked a maid; you asked me whom I loved. I loved Daiha.
Lorelai: And whatever happened to Daiha?
Emily: Oh, how should I know? But I loved her.

Christopher: She did not get there by herself.
Rory: Hey, have you ever met your daughter? She could get anywhere by herself! She could get to the third dimension by herself! She was helping the crossing guard when she was four.

Lorelai: Well, now, that was a fun night.
Rory: Yup.
Lorelai: I haven't had that much fun since labor.
Rory: Ba-dum-bum.
Lorelai: But seriously, ladies and gentlemen, is this on?

Lorelai: But you might, at a later point in your life, when you're not so angry and you make up with your dad, as we both know you will, you might be sorry you missed it.
Rory: It's the wrong wedding.
Lorelai: Ah, things happen for a reason.
Rory: Since when is that your philosophy.
Lorelai: Since now. By the way, I'm also a communist.
Rory: Really?
Lorelai: Yes, ‘cause I look damn good in red.

Jess: Doing a little shopping?
Rory: Yes. Excuse me.
Jess: Why the cold shoulder?
Rory: No cold shoulder. I just have perishables here.
Jess: Oh yeah, you wanna get home before that beefaroni goes bad.