Lorelai: Is everything okay?
Kirk: Okay?
Lorelai: Yes.
Kirk: With me?
Lorelai: Yes.
Kirk: Well, my mother has developed a condition... makes her knees enormous. Yesterday I spent all morning cutting holes in her pants so she could sit, but other than that and the dyspeptic parrot problem, everything is fine.

Kirk: We've known each other for a good amount of time now. Our... paths have crossed professionally and socially a number of times, all with relatively pleasant results, and well, I was just wondering if you would like to have dinner with me?
Lorelai: Oh.
Kirk: In two weeks.
Lorelai: Two weeks?
Kirk: I heard you have a cold. I think two weeks is enough time to ensure the virus is out of your system.
Lorelai: Well, Kirk, I...
Kirk: You don't have to answer me right away. I know that this is completely out of the blue for you. Take a few days and think about it.
Lorelai: Kirk, wait.
Kirk: By the way, I think you might be the prettiest girl I've ever seen... outside of a really filthy magazine.

Lorelai: All right, you got home too late last night and I didn't get a chance to talk to you.
Rory: I got home at ten and you were already asleep.
Lorelai: Well, I was trying to watch The Legend of Bagger Vance again.

Rory: Mom, I'm sorry. She found out about it, she called...
Lorelai: And you said yes?
Rory: She's my grandmother.
Lorelai: So?
Rory: So what am I supposed to say?
Lorelai: Say "Sorry, Grandma, but if my mother sees you, she'll run screaming down the hall."
Rory: You'll be sitting there listening to the ceremony, you hardly have to talk at all.
Lorelai: Rory.
Rory: Hey, we are family.
Lorelai: Yeah, well, look how great that worked out for Sister Sledge.

Lorelai: I just want you to remember three things while you're sitting up there: I love you, you're the greatest kid in the world, and you're in a skirt, keep your knees closed.
Rory: Bye.
Lorelai: Hey, this is good advice. When I was in school, Linda Lee was class treasurer and she could not keep her knees closed if they were magnetized. Hanes should've given her an endorsement deal.

Paris: Look, let's face it, the last administration might have just as well been running around yelling "Toga!" for all the brilliant things they accomplished. But this year, everything changes, starting with the library. It's completely out of proportion with its subjects. I mean, there's five hundred volumes on the French Revolution, yet only three on the Crusades. How do they expect us to get a decent education with inferior resources like that? [Rory shows Paris her watch] Huh. Seems like the hour's almost up. Okay, well, I think this has been an extremely successful first gathering. I appreciate all the class presidents coming and being on time. So before I adjourn this meeting, is there anything anyone would like to say?
Rory: People's names might have been nice.

Rory: Okay, see, the whole point of having an informal "get to know you" gathering was actually to have an informal ‘"get to know you" gathering.
Paris: What's your point?
Rory: You just spent an hour walking around talking about your agenda.
Paris: I'm student body president – that's my job.
Rory: But we got donuts, and we didn't touch the donuts. The donuts are still sitting next to the coffee that we never passed out. We were supposed to spend this time to talk, bond, get to know each other.
Paris: Geez, Rory, we've been sitting in a room together for sixty minutes, what else do you want, a ring?

Sookie: Okay, I just got a message that a vegetarian menu was requested for tonight.
Lorelai: Yeah, Lasano's, party of five at eight o'clock.
Sookie: I thought you said you weren't gonna let vegetarians in here anymore.
Lorelai: No, you said you weren't gonna let vegetarians in here anymore.
Sookie: But I'm making my baked stuffed pork chops for tonight.
Lorelai: Well, make ‘em for the other guests and make something else for the Lasano's.
Sookie: Like what?
Lorelai: I don't know. Pasta, you make great pasta.
Sookie: But that's boring, anyone can make pasta. I'm an artist. You don't dictate to an artist, you don't tell him what to do. I mean, no ever walked up to Degas and said, "Hey, pal, easy with the dancers, enough already. Draw a nice fruit bowl once in awhile, will ya?"
Lorelai: A great artist can make art out of anything, including pasta.
Sookie: Fine, pasta, whoo.

Sookie: So today's your lunch with Emily.
Lorelai: Yup.
Sookie: Any idea what she's gonna say?
Lorelai: No, but I bet it's not, "I'm joining the circus, feed your father until I get back." I should just cancel.
Sookie: You can't cancel, you're meeting her in an hour.
Lorelai: I know, but this goes against every rule I have in the Gilmore survival guide. Number one – no running with scissors. Number two – no pageboy haircuts. Number three – never ever have lunch alone with a mother.
Sookie: It might not be so bad.
Lorelai: Saying yes to this lunch with my mother is like saying "Sounds fun!" to a ride with Clemenza.

Sookie: People change, you know. They do it every day. I mean, one minute you could be... oh, let's say a vegetarian, and the next minute you could accidentally have a bite of a stuffed pork chop that changes your entire way of thinking.
Lorelai: Sookie.
Sookie: Oh, suddenly life's fun, suddenly there's a reason to get up in the morning, it's called bacon!
Lorelai: Forget it.
Sookie: Come on!
Lorelai: Pasta.
Sookie: Let the people grow, dammit!