Lorelai: Wow, I have never seen you two enjoy a pleasant moment together.
Sookie: Oh, come on.
Michel: You have seen us enjoy a pleasant moment.
Lorelai: No, not ever.
Michel: Oh, you're being absurd.
Sookie: You have to admit, they are few and far between.
Michel: Through no fault of mine.
Lorelai: I'm just saying it's refreshing. It's not the usual, "Grr!", that's all.
Sookie: Through no fault of yours? I'm sorry, but you're the one that's so... I don't know.
Michel: Oh, I think you do know, or you wouldn't have started saying it.
Sookie: Just yourself, caustic.
Michel: You mean obnoxious?
Sookie: Your words, not mine.
Michel: Go to hell.
Lorelai: Oh, I'm just saying it is refreshing to see the two of you just...

Lorelai: This man knows all my secrets. All of my bad-girl moments happened with him. My worst fashion choices, my big-hair days, wearing the Bonne Bell Lip Smackers around my neck... it was all with Christopher.

Rory: Miss Patty, this is my dad, Christopher.
Miss Patty: Your dad.
Christopher: Nice to meet you.
Miss Patty: You're Rory's father. Well, well, well. You know, Christopher, we're all like Rory's parents around here and I'm one of her mothers. And since you're her father that would make us a couple. [laughs] Couple of what, I don't know!
Rory: Okay, well, we gotta be going.
Miss Patty: Yes, well, come back and see me.

Christopher: Come on, what's the book of your dreams right now?
Rory: Well, that would definitely be The Compact Oxford English Dictionary, but Dad...
Christopher: Excuse me, one Compact Oxford English Dictionary, please.
Rory: Dad, no. It costs a fortune.
Christopher: You need something to remember this visit by.
Andrew: Here you go.
Christopher: Holy mother! This is the monolith from 2001.
Rory: It has every word ever recorded in the English language plus origins and earliest usage.
Christopher: You sure you wouldn't rather have a car? They weigh about the same.

Lorelai: That would've been her dad.
Luke: Really? So that's...
Lorelai: The guy who impregnated me with Rory, yes.
Luke: Uh. He did a good job.
Lorelai: Impregnating me with Rory?
Luke: Now, this has taken a very weird turn.

Emily: [on the phone] Lorelai, Christopher is in town.
Lorelai: [gasps] What? I didn't know. Coincidentally, I'm sitting across from an amazing Christopher hologram.
Emily: Well, I just had this wonderful idea. Christopher's parents are in town, too. You remember Straub and Francine, don't you?
Lorelai: Ah, yes, the Schnickelfritzes.
Emily: The who?
Lorelai: The Haydens.

Lorelai: [sighs] I've gotta see my parents.
Christopher: [sighs] I've gotta see my parents.
Rory: Ladies and gentlemen, the drama king and queen of Connecticut.

Emily: Christopher, look at you.
Christopher: Emily, as always, perfect.
Emily: I am so glad to see you. I didn't hear the doorbell.
Lorelai: We didn't ring the doorbell.
Emily: You let yourselves in?
Lorelai: Yes, Mom, and it's okay. Look, not a rapist among us.
Rory: Hi, Grandma.
Emily: You usually knock.
Lorelai: Not since you gave us a key.
Emily: That's for emergencies.
Lorelai: Mom, I'm starving to death. Is that enough of an emergency for you?

So, Christopher, tell me about your business.
Emily: Oh, Richard, let the poor boy relax.
Richard: Well, I simply want to find out how it's going.
Christopher: It's going great. I'm afraid to jinx it by telling you how good it's going.
Richard: That is wonderful. I always knew you had it in you. You have a splash of greatness, as my mother would say. You always had that splash of greatness.
Lorelai: [holding an empty glass] I'd like another splash of greatness if you don't mind.

Rory: This is weird. These are my other grandparents. I don't even know them. What do I call them?
Christopher: Call them what I call them. As-
Lorelai: Christopher.
Christopher: Sorry, my tie's too tight.
Lorelai: Just call them Straub and Francine. Call them Mr. And Mrs. Hayden. Sir and ma'am? Just avoid calling them anything.