Emily: Richard, the girls are here. He came home today, didn't say a word stomped off to his study, slammed the door. He's been holed up in there ever since. I can't even get him to answer me.
Lorelai: Are you sure he's still in there?
Emily: Of course he's still in there. The door's right there. I would have seen if he came out.
Lorelai: Sorry.
Emily: Not everyone leaves this house by climbing out the window and jumping into a waiting hot rod.

Richard: Rory, you're here. Wonderful! Hello, Lorelai. I am starving. What's for dinner?
Emily: "What's for dinner?" What do you mean, what's for dinner?
Richard: Well, I thought the question was relatively clear, but I'd be glad to rephrase it for you. What sort of food products will appear on various plates this evening?

Emily: Well, what are you going to do?
Richard: I'm not sure yet. Perhaps I'll consult, maybe take on a partner. Maybe I'll even teach.
Lorelai: What?
Richard: Well, you don't have to say it like that.
Lorelai: Sorry. [cheerfully] What?
Richard: I think 35 years of experience will qualify me to teach a course or two at that local business college of yours.
Lorelai: Oh, my God. It's Who's The Boss? The Later Years.

Rory: When did he get that antique car, anyway?
Emily: A couple of horrible weeks ago.
Lorelai: What happened to that oil-painting hobby?
Emily: You know your father, when he couldn't foresee rivaling Cezanne he lost interest so he bought that car.

Emily: Lorelai!
Lorelai: Mom, it's not dinner. It's just my private stash.
Emily: It's eating, and we're not eating.
Lorelai: You know, you're bound by the rules of the Geneva Convention, Mother, just like everyone else.

Emily: We are waiting for you, Richard. In 35 years, I have never started a dinner without you unless you were out of town or ill. Elsa, take everything away and keep it warm. Now please go upstairs and get ready so we can all enjoy a nice family dinner together.
Richard: I'll be right back.
Lorelai: Right back, Dad. Change on the way upstairs, make it a navy shower, quick soap, quick rinse, and no excessive posing. [sighs] Hungry.

Lorelai: Hmm. That's funny.
Rory: What?
Lorelai: Something's different here, something's changed.
Rory: Impossible.
Lorelai: No, I swear, there's something.
Rory: I'd be very disappointed if something changed in here.
Lorelai: Why are you so anti-change?
Rory: Because most change sucks.
Lorelai: That's true, it does.

Lorelai: I'm gonna go with the special omelette, with a side of bacon.
Luke: There's bacon in the omelette.
Lorelai: Skip the bacon.
Luke: The side of bacon?
Lorelai: The bacon in the omelette.
Lorelai: Can I get Jack cheese instead of Swiss? Swiss is so stringy.
Luke: Fine, Jack cheese.
Lorelai: Also, I think I'm allergic to oregano, so hold that, too. And some coffee.
Luke: So just the eggs, tomatoes, and Jack cheese.
Lorelai: Not too many tomatoes.
Luke: Light on the tomatoes.
Lorelai: Very light, just a teeny, tiny amount, practically none.
Luke: I'm skipping the tomatoes. It's an omelette with Jack cheese. You did this on purpose.
Lorelai: Did what?

Sookie: You're gonna love these. They're pearly white with this beautiful lavender strip. [looks at the invitations] I'm gonna choke somebody by the neck until brains ooze out of their ears.
Lorelai: What? They're beautiful.
Sookie: The name, look at the name.
Lorelai: "The marriage of his daughter Susie St. James."
Sookie: Who's Susie St. James?
Lorelai: I think it's you.

Lorelai: Listen to me. I have experience dealing with people who screwed something up. You have a better chance if you don't get all hysterical.
Sookie: Okay.
Lorelai: Okay.
Sookie: [takes the phone] How dare you do this to me? You're ruining my wedding. It's the most important day of my life. It's my life, not "Susie St. James." Are you listening to me?
Lorelai: Good girl.