Richard: They sell these things in every drug store, right?
Paris: Yes, they do.
Richard: There's also a registered nurse on campus. Her office would contain the products that you're talking about, correct?
Paris: Possibly.
Richard: Well, what makes you think you could get a young person to spend good money on something that they could get for free, or at least, at a lower cost?
Paris: Because I know one thing about the modern teenager.
Richard: And what is that?
Paris: That you can get them to buy anything as long as it comes in a leopard print.
Louise: True.
Paris: We get them with style. We dress up the kits with sparkles, colors, pictures of bands sport themes for the boys, animal pictures for the puppy-and-unicorn bunch chessboards for the Bobby Fischer freaks. A style for every taste. Plus we use neon band-aids, pink or blue gauze for the bandages. Anything that seems young or flashy or bright.

Lorelai: Oh, you got to read this Motley Crue book. I swear, you get to the point where Ozzy Osbourne snorts a row of ants and you think, "It cannot get any grosser." And then you turn the page, and, oh, hello, yes, it can.

Lorelai: Honey, you got to ease up on that love potion you've been giving him or he's gonna start showing up at David Letterman's house soon.

Paris: Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the Rx 2002.
Louise: Nice.
Rory: Very nice.
Paris: Now, listed in front of you are all the contents contained in the Rx 2002 plus the additional style options, 12 in all. Every one of them waterproof, fireproof, and comes with a five-year warranty.
Richard: Which is longer than most of your high-school careers.
Paris: He is funny.
Richard: Now, there's also a deluxe model with extra features designed to personalize your kit even more specifically for your needs. There will be a snap-in CD case which can hold up to 10 CDs. There's a lighted vanity mirror and a divided compartment for makeup and knickknacks, a picture frame, and a hidden mini-vault for valuables which can be locked for safety.
Paris: Terrific idea, Richard, really. Top-notch.

Richard: Let's check in with our marketing department. Madeline, Louise, what have you got for us?
Madeline: Okay, well, first, we go for the obvious.
Louise: Magazines. You know, Teen, Young Miss, Seventeen.
Madeline: Spin and Rolling Stone, especially to hit the guys.
Richard: I hear that Jane magazine also has a young, hip following.
Rory: How do you know about Jane magazine?
Richard: I have my ways, young lady.

Lorelai: I know it sounds crazy, but sometimes giving people a little bit of space is actually the best thing to do.
Dean: Space?
Lorelai: Just a little.
Dean: Like what? Don't call her? Don't see her?
Lorelai: No. Just let her breathe. Let her relax. Let her come to you for a change.
Dean: You're not telling me this to get rid of me, are you?
Lorelai: Please! If I was trying to get rid of you I would've started this conversation with, "Let me tell you about my family."

Sookie: Okay, new plan for the invites. We're getting married May 15, 4:00, front lawn, pass it on.
Lorelai: Sookie.
Sookie: That's it. Word of mouth. They used it for the Revolutionary War. Who the hell am I to poo-poo history, huh, I ask you?

Lorelai: I don't understand, Michel. You and your mother seem to have the perfect relationship.
Michel: Yes. Because I tell her nothing. We keep all subjects light and fluffy. We talk about clothes, and food, and Posh Spice and David Beckham, and that is all. Nothing of value. Nothing of substance.
Lorelai: I'm sorry.
Michel: Now she knows I've been hiding something from her. Suddenly she's asking questions. Why did I leave France at 18? Where do I go at night? Who are my friends? What do they do? Where do they live? Why have I chosen this career? On and on and on and on. It never ends. I can't stand it. She's a complete pain. She won't stop. I took a six-hour bath last night just to escape the incessant nagging. You did this to me! You turned my Giselle into a mother, and I hate you for it! I hate you very, very much!

Paris: Did you see the brilliant hose-hook idea over at Table 5? A hook on your belt for your garden hose. There's a Buster Keaton routine waiting to happen.

Lorelai: Honey, you did nothing. You went to your grandfather who you greatly admire and actually like hanging out with, to ask for his help and advice. That's lovely and thoughtful.
Rory: Please help me out tonight. No mention of work, or Chilton, or school, or retirement.
Lorelai: Nothing but politics and religion. Got it.