Rory: My dorm room has turned into a Three Stooges movie. Shove Pop Tarts under the door in two hours please.
Lorelai: Honey.
Rory: You quiched my room.
Sookie: They're not quiche. They're broccoli tarts.
Rory: Well, then you tarted up my room.

Lorelai: Hey, here's a crazy thought, isn't there someplace at Yale you can study? Don't they have like a hundred libraries?
Rory: Yes, but they don't have that right vibe. They're too quiet and too big and drafty. Very, very drafty.
Lorelai: At least they don't smell like quiche.
Sookie: Enough with the quiche, okay?
Rory: I can't believe I came all the way home and there's nowhere to work.
Lorelai: It's just temporary.
Rory: 'Til the sewing machine comes.
Lorelai: Oh, hey you know how many kids in India would love to come home to a room full of quiche? Sorry, tarts.
Sookie: Tarts are totally different.
Lorelai: I know, honey. I know.

Luke: We don't take reservations, Kirk.
Kirk: But this is a special occasion. And Lorelai told me to go somewhere I'm comfortable, and I'm comfortable here.
Luke: You are?
Kirk: Well, not at this moment, but previously I have been comfortable here. Please?
Luke: What's the occasion?
Kirk: I have a date with a young lady.
Luke: You really felt the need to add the "with a young lady" part?
Kirk: Kinda.

Kirk: Excuse me, is that good?
Woman: Yes.
Kirk: And what is that?
Woman: Meat loaf.
Kirk: Okay, so, this meat loaf, is it a romantic food for you? I mean, is it getting you hot?
Luke: Kirk!
Kirk: Good talking to you. [exits]

Sookie: Wow! You grew up here?
Lorelai: I swear, if she makes me wear a uniform...
Sookie: This is Citizen Kane's house.
Lorelai: Drape one of those napkins over my arm.
Sookie: [gasps] Is there a moat?

Lorelai: Oh, great, I'm glad you got that. It's been bugging me for the last-
Emily: Is this the off-white or the cream?
Lorelai: The off-white. The cream is more creamy. I cut those myself so they could be adjusted either way. I mean, they could be adjusted smaller. Taller would be tougher once they're cut, but, if they tell a lie, they'll shoot right back up.
Emily: I assume you'll have servers.
Lorelai: Yes, we will.
Emily: I assume you'll instruct your servers to omit the Pinocchio humor.
Lorelai: Yes, we will.

Emily: Sookie, how far along are you?
Sookie: Eight months.
Emily: Lorelai, there doesn't seem to be any reason for a pregnant woman in her eighth month to be running back and forth to the kitchen, does there?
Lorelai: No, there doesn't.
Emily: You should take my plate. Otherwise, you'll have no place to put the potpie.
Lorelai: Oh, I can think of a place.
Emily: What was that?
Lorelai: Plates going bye-bye.

Rory: [on the phone] It's amazing. Out of the blue, bam! It was right there.
Lorelai: Well, things always happen when you least expect it.
Rory: I have to tell you, this tree is perfect.
Lorelai: Well, all girls think their tree is perfect.
Rory: It fits my back completely, and there's plenty of grass, and it's in a great area - just far enough away from anything major so there's not a lot of noise but still not in Siberia.

Kirk: [to himself] Cut! Okay, that sucked! Let's just go again right away. Focus! Focus.

Emily: Jason, what a pleasant surprise. Richard, you should have told me Jason was coming over. I would have had something prepared.
Jason: Oh, please, Emily, I've gained ten pounds since I came into this house.
Emily: Men always say that and it's never true.