Sookie: Well, all I can say is that those two better make up before your butt falls and this gorgeous antique cake-topper is nothing more than a kitschy piece of junk from the 1940s. [car horn honks] Crap. I got to go. I left Jackson's mother in the car. Maybe I should have cracked the window.

Michel: I believe Jackson's Aunt Pat is borrowing DVDs from our collection and secretly burning copies for her own DVD library.
Lorelai: What makes you think she's not watching the DVDs?
Michel: The Bellevilles are freeloaders, the whole lot of them. They are as cheap as tan panty hose with white sandals. Plus, I believe they have emptied all the booze from the minibars upstairs into their own flask and then refilled the bottles with water.
Lorelai: Can I interest you in a sick day?
Michel: [scoffs] But I would not give them the satisfaction. [to Sookie] Oh, how proud a family reunion must be for you.
Sookie: He's snarky.
Lorelai: And sarcastic. He's snarcastic.

Lorelai: Oh, jeez, Sookie, I'm touched. I would love to be Martha's godmother.
Sookie: Great. Oh, I'm so happy you said yes. It's going to be great. And we're gonna baptize both kids at once, so Davey's gonna need a godmother, too, and I thought, "How about Rory?"
Lorelai: Rory, huh?
Sookie: Yeah, I thought it would be fun. And I know it's weird with you two now, but there's really no one else I'm close to to ask.
Lorelai: Oh, yeah? What about your friend Kat from the culinary institute? You guys roomed together in college.
Sookie: She's been institutionalized.
Lorelai: What? Really?
Sookie: Oh, yeah. She shaved her head. She thinks she's Susan Powter.

Lorelai: How about Theresa? She lived next door to you growing up. Aren't her husband and Jackson best friends?
Sookie: She moved.
Lorelai: She moved?
Sookie: To Peru.
Lorelai: When?
Sookie: Yesterday, actually.
Lorelai: Tall, skinny Margo?
Sookie: Has an inner-ear problem. Frankly, I'm a little worried she'll lose her balance holding the baby and fall in the water. She's tall, so that's a long way to fall.

Lorelai: Man, she's good. She's really good.
Luke: Who?
Lorelai: Sookie. This whole baptism thing is just a ruse to get me and Rory together. She's played me. She's played me like a Stradivarius.
Luke: So, don't go, then.
Lorelai: No, I got to go.
Luke: Why?
Lorelai: Because she asked me to be a godmother. You don't say no to that.
Luke: Why?
Lorelai: Look, I know what she's doing, and she knows what she's doing, but no one else knows what she's doing, so on the chance she's not doing what I think she's doing, which is actually just doing what she wants to do, then I will be the jerk who wouldn't be the godmother to her best friend's baby 'cause she thought something was happening that wasn't. And that will be the story everyone remembers, understand?

Lane: You look good, too. I like the bangs. Very Marianne Faithful.
Rory: Thanks. I'm hoping Mick Jagger notices.

Rory: I just wish that my mom could understand that. She's so... I doubt that she will talk to me again until I am back in a dorm room with a course catalog on my lap, if then. I don't know, maybe we'll never talk again.
Lane: You two? Oh, please.
Rory: We haven't talked in weeks.
Lane: It'll blow over.
Rory: She didn't tell me when she and Luke got engaged.
Lane: Rory, look at me. You and your mom will talk again. This rift is nature's attempt to find some equilibrium. You and Lorelai have gone too many years without fighting. So you had to have one big fight to make up for it. Now you've had it, and soon you'll make up and then this will all be just your lost weekend.

Rory: We can never go this long without talking again.
Lane: Deal.
Rory: I'll do anything.
Lane: I'll raise carrier pigeons.
Rory: I'll learn Morse code.
Lane: I'll send you pigeons, and you can send me code.

Rory: You look nice today, Kirk.
Kirk: Thanks. This is the suit they buried my dad in.
Rory: Oh, well... I think I'm gonna let that one go.
Kirk: Do you know which is the Davey side and which is the Martha?
Rory: Oh, I don't think there are sides. It's not like a wedding. I think we're all on both kids' sides.
Kirk: I just didn't want to offend by taking a side if there are sides. I've had some contact with Davey in passing - couple of high-fives, one or two peekaboo sessions, but I haven't had much contact with Martha. She seems more reserved, elusive. There's a bit of Garbo in her.

Kirk: So, are you a Davey or a Martha? Davey, I bet, right? He's much more accessible. He's the Dandy Warhols to Martha's Brian Jonestown massacre.