Emily: [on the phone] Hello, Rory, it's your grandmother.
Rory: Grandma, we were just talking about you. How are you? How's Helsinki?
Emily: Cold, unaccommodating, a population of walking dead.
Rory: Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.
Emily: The cab driver from the airport was a thief. And the cuisine isn't fit for a stray cat. Kippers and cabbage rolls. And the weather... it snowed and apparently they can't fly under those conditions. Can't or won't, it's hard to say. I defy you to read a Finn.
Rory: Yeah, they can be pretty stoic in those northern climes.

Emily: [on the phone]But here I am thousands of miles away, stuck in a land of reindeer stew, and I'm loathe to cancel because there's nothing Constance Betterton would like more than for me to slip up so she can destroy my reputation, run me out of the D.A.R. , then jump in the air like a cheerleader and land doing the splits.

Lorelai: Okay, Paul Anka, dinnertime. You need to eat tonight, okay? Now, this is the kibble you like in the nice, new, yellow bowl that you picked. I will now I will now back out of the room so you can eat in the dark, like you like.

Jackson: He thinks you're a nympho.
Lorelai: A what?
Sookie: It's short for nymphomaniac. It means you really dig the fellas.
Lorelai: I know what it means, but how? I didn't say two words to the guy when I met him. I said one: hi. And that was not in response to, "What's your sex drive like?"

Beau: Well, hello, L.G.
Lorelai: Welcome to the Dragonfly Inn.
Beau: Welcome to Beau.
Lorelai: Nice sunglasses. Very Risky Business.
Beau: Risky Business, huh? Are you into risky business?
Lorelai: No. All of a sudden I hate it. Tom Cruise in his underwear makes me want to barf.

Sookie: So, now that I know the cake, all you have to do is set the date. When is the date?
Luke: I don't know.
Sookie: What do you mean, you don't know?
Luke: I mean I don't know.
Sookie: Luke, Miss Manners said you're not really engaged until you have a ring and a date.
Luke: Yeah, and it's tacky to drink from a can, but there you go.

Logan: Go back to sleep.
Rory: I have to go to the baptism.
Logan: Blow it off.
Rory: I can't.
Logan: You can do anything. You just have to believe in yourself. Did we learn nothing from Mad Hot Ballroom?
Rory: I have to go to Stars Hollow. I have to see my mom.
Logan: One, two, cha cha cha.
Rory: Oh, okay. Nothing left to do but get up and face the music. [grabs two dresses] Which goes better with a baby?

Reverend Skinner: We will now begin a series of ceremonial questions. Lorelai Gilmore, do you renounce Satan and all the spiritual forces that rebel against God? [Lorelai is distracted]
Sookie: Lorelai.
Lorelai: What?
Sookie: Why aren't you renouncing Satan? He said, "do you renounce Satan?" That's not something you pause about.
Lorelai: Oh, I'm sorry. Uh, yes, I renounce Satan.

Rory: What is wrong with you?
Lorelai: It's not like I really care, okay? It's not like I was gonna call you up to chitchat or make a date to go shoe shopping or something. But shouldn't a mother have a way to contact her daughter at least in case of an emergency? I mean, what if I was in a accident and had to have a blood transfusion? You're the only person in the world with the same blood type. It would really help to have your phone number.