Joey: You're smoking again?
Chandler: Well, actually, yesterday, I was smoking again. Today I'm smoking, still.

Monica: So if your parents hadn't gotten divorced you'd be able to answer a question like a normal person?

Phoebe: Okay, Monica's are the biggest.
Monica: These tiny little non-breasts? Please. It's gotta be Rachel.
Rachel: No, mine are deceptively small. I mean, I actually sometimes stuff my bra.
Monica: Well, then, your bra would still be big.
Rachel: No, I stuff outside the bra.

Monica: So the "going for help" went well?
Joey: Oh, yeah. Smokey Joe here got halfway to the highway and collapsed.
Chandler: I have the lung capacity of a 2-year-old.
Monica: Then why are you smoking?
Chandler: Well, it's very unsettling.

Carol: You slept with another woman?
Ross: Oh, you're one to talk.

Chandler: I can handle it. "Handle" is my middle name. Actually, it's the middle part of my first name.

Chandler: I was being Shelley Winters from The Poseidon Adventure.
Ross: I know.

Phoebe: Come on. They can be in the same room.
Joey: You should've been there last night.
Phoebe: Why, what happened last night?
Joey: Ross was hanging out at our place. Rachel comes over to borrow some moisturizer from Chandler-
Chandler: Hey, how hard is it to say "something"? Rachel came over to borrow "something."

Ross: Oh, please? Can't I come to your special, magical cabin?
Rachel: Why would you even want to come, Ross? You're a horrible skier.
Ross: Oh, oh. Hitting me where it hurts, my ski skills!

Phoebe: Maybe we can, like, go to a movie or something. Or the rodeo.