Ross: Hey, Ross, it's you. I just want you to remember this feeling. You are lucky to be alive. So live every day to the fullest. Love yourself, okay? Okay. And also get stamps. Bye.

Ross: So, where are we going next?
Gary: This witness won't return my calls. We'll surprise him coming home.
Chandler: Surprise him? We're not gonna make anybody mad, are we?
Joey: Come on, man. So you gonna squeeze the perp's shoes a bit before he lawyers up?
Gary: He's a witness, not a perp. And no one tawks like that.
Ross: Yeah. No one tawks like that.

Chandler: So you didn't choose Ross before me?
Joey: No. I would never do that. You're like my brother.
Chandler: Really?
Joey: Yeah. In fact, to prove how much you mean to me. [Joey unwraps the sandwich and hands it to Chandler] Here.
Chandler: Thanks.
Joey: Whoa, whoa. Easy, it's not a hot dog! How good is that?
Chandler: Oh, yeah.
Joey: See? [Chandler gets ready to take another bite] Whoa, Dude, what are you doing?
Chandler: I thought you're showing me how much I mean to you.
Joey: Yeah, with a bite. Jeez!

[Ross accidentally turns on the police cherry]
Gary: Hey, do you mind? We're undercover here.
Ross: Oh, yeah. No problem.
Gary: Ross!
Ross: Sorry. There. [Ross puts the cherry under his t-shirt] Hey, Gary. Who am l? Phone home.

Monica: I'm so glad you're home. I though tonight we can finally organize these photos.
Rachel: Oh, thank God. Finally.
Monica: Okay, I've broken them down into categories. We got holidays, birthdays, candids. And then what I've done is I've cross-referenced them by subject. Right, so if you're looking up, say birthdays and dogs, you get photo 152. See?
Rachel: Oh, it's me and LePooh. Wow, I miss that dog.
Monica: You can also find him under "dog" and "dead."
Rachel: Great. Thanks.

Phoebe: Monica, sorry I didn't come by yesterday. I was out with Gary. He let me ride around with him. We saw and prevented crimes.
Joey: You got to go on a ride-along?
Phoebe: Uh-huh.
Joey: I want to go on a ride-along.
Ross: Me too.
Gary: Okay.
Chandler: Yeah. Me too.
Gary: Really? You?
Chandler: Yeah.
Gary: Well, it's kind of dangerous.
Chandler: Well, I like danger.
Gary: Okay, you guys free tonight?
Joey and Ross: Yeah.
Chandler: Tonight? You didn't say it was gonna be at nighttime.

Ross: Hey, Gary, want me to grab the berry for you?
Gary: It's called a cherry.
Ross: It's called- Chandler!

Joey: I got it. This place makes the best sandwich in the world.
Gary: Hey, Joe, does it have meatballs on it?
Joey: Oh, yeah.
Gary: Does it have melted cheese and marinara sauce?
Joey: Yep.
Gary: Yeah, you can't eat that in my car.
Joey: Yeah, okay. Even though my tax dollars paid for this car.
Chandler: Your tax dollars?
Joey: Yeah, okay.

Chandler: Wow, that sandwich really does smell good.
Joey: Did I say you could smell it?
Chandler: I can't smell your sandwich?
Joey: Half the taste is in the smell. You're sucking up all the taste units.
Chandler: Okay, I'll give them back. [exhales]

Monica: I need a few more things to make the margaritas. I need some salt, some margarita mix and tequila.
Rachel: So all we had was ice?
Monica: See if he has ice.