‘The One with the Kips’
Season 5, Episode 5 - Aired October 29, 1998
When Ross finally tells Rachel that Emily doesn't want him to see her any more, Rachel worries that she will be phased out of the group like Chandler's old roommate, Kip. Meanwhile, Chandler and Monica's romantic weekend away ends in an argument and leads Joey finding out about their relationship.
Quote from Chandler
Monica: Hey, guess what I'm doing this weekend. I'm going to this culinary fair in Jersey.
Phoebe: How weird. Chandler just told us he's got a conference there.
Monica: Wow, that's funny. Seems like Chandler's conference could've been in Connecticut or Vermont.
Chandler: I'm not in charge of where the conference is held. Do you want people to think it's a fake conference? It's a real conference.
Quote from Chandler
Monica: Ooh, chocolates on the pillows. I love that.
Chandler: You should live with Joey. Rolos everywhere.
Quote from Rachel
[Rachel has her head back because of a nose bleed]
Rachel: I'm sorry. What did you want to tell me? [Rachel snorts] I'm sorry. Sorry.
Ross: Okay. I can't see you anymore.
Rachel: Yeah, I know, it's ridiculous. I can't see you, either.
Quote from Chandler
Monica: Okay, this one I like.
Chandler: Nothing. It's over. Damn it, this is regularly scheduled programming!
Monica: Can we turn the TV off? Okay, do we really have to spend the entire weekend like this?
Chandler: Oh, I'm sorry, am I getting in the way of the room-switching fun?
Monica: Hey, don't blame me for ruining tonight.
Chandler: Well, who should I blame? The nice bellman who had to drag our luggage to ten different rooms?
Monica: Oh, I don't know. How about the idiot who thought he could drive from Albany to Canada on half a tank of gas?
Chandler: Do not speak ill of the dead.
Quote from Rachel
Ross: It's awful, I know. It's- I mean, I feel terrible. But I have to do this if I want my marriage to work. And I do. I have to make this marriage work. I have to. But the good thing is, we can still see each other until she gets here.
Rachel: Oh! Lucky me. Oh, my God, that is good news, Ross. I think that's the best news I've heard since LaPooh died.
Quote from Rachel
Ross: You have no idea what a nightmare this has been. This is so hard.
Rachel: Oh, yeah, really? Is it, Ross? Yeah, okay? Let me make this a little easier for you.
Ross: What? What are you doing?
Rachel: Storming out.
Ross: Rachel, this is your apartment.
Rachel: Yeah? Well, that's how mad I am.
Quote from Joey
Ross: You should've seen the look on her face. I don't want Rachel to hate me. I don't know what to do.
Joey: You want my advice?
Ross: Yes. Please.
Joey: You're not going to like it.
Ross: That's okay.
Joey: You got married too fast.
Ross: That's not advice.
Joey: I told you.
Quote from Joey
Rachel: Oh, God, it's already started. I'm Kip.
Monica: Oh, honey.
Joey: Yeah, you're not Kip.
Rachel: Do you even know who Kip is?
Joey: Who cares? You're Rachel.
Quote from Joey
Joey: You know, I don't even feel like I know you anymore, man. All right, look. I'm just going to ask you this one time. And whatever you say, I'll believe you. Were you or were you not on a gay cruise?