‘The One with the Cuffs’
Season 4, Episode 3 - Aired October 9, 1997
After hooking up with Rachel's boss, Joanna, Chandler finds himself stuck in a delicate situation in her office. Meanwhile, Monica is disappointed that her mother made contingency plans after asking her to cater a party, and Joey is visited by a door-to-door encyclopedia salesman.
Quote from Joey
Rachel: Last time I almost got fired. You must end it. You must end it now.
Chandler: Come on, it's not an everyday occurrence for me. I mean, usually I'm just in there by myself.
Joey: [mimics the sound of a squeaking bed]
Quote from Judy Geller
Judy Geller: How's the hired help?
Monica: Doing great. Quiches are coming along.
Judy Geller: What's this? Blue nail polish?
Monica: I thought it was cute.
Judy Geller: Huh. It's what your grandmother's hands looked like when we found her.
Quote from Monica
Monica: Oh, my God. Did you hear that? She hired me because she thinks I'm good.
Phoebe: Okay, I didn't hear that.
Monica: She didn't hire me out of pity. It wasn't so she could pick on me in front of my friends. She actually thinks I'm good.
Phoebe: Wow. And hey, it's cool if you're a lesbian.
Quote from Phoebe
Monica: Okay, please don't freak out. There's a blue fingernail in one of the quiche cups. And there's no way to know which one.
Phoebe: And whoever finds it wins the prize.
Quote from Judy Geller
Judy Geller: I'm not freaking out.
Monica: Why are you laughing?
Judy Geller: It's nothing. It's just now your father owes me $5.
Monica: What, you bet I'd lose a nail?
Judy Geller: No, don't be silly. I just bet that I'd need these.
Monica: Frozen lasagnas? You bet that I'd screw up? So all that stuff about how I was good was-
Judy Geller: No, that was all true. This was just in case you "pulled a Monica."
Monica: You promised Dr. Weinberg you'd never use that phrase.
Quote from Chandler
Chandler: Okay, here's the situation. The keys to the cuffs are on the back of the door. Could you be a doll and grab them and scoot on over here and unlock me? And on a totally separate subject, that's a lovely pantsuit.
Quote from Rachel
Rachel: You give me back my Walkman.
Chandler: I ... never borrowed your Walkman.
Rachel: Then I lost it. You buy me one!
Quote from Chandler
Rachel: What will you tell Joanna?
Chandler: About what?
Rachel: If she sees thar you're gone she'll know I let you out and that I was in here, and I'll get fired!
Chandler: I'll make something up. I'm good at lying. I actually did borrow your Walkman.
Quote from Joey
Salesman: So here's somebody interesting, Joey. What do you know about Van Gogh?
Joey: He cut off his ear.
Salesman: And?
Joey: I'm out.
Salesman: He painted that.
Joey: Wow. That's pretty nice. I thought he cut off his ear because he sucked.
Quote from Joey
Joey: What else you got in there?
Salesman: Let's see. Where does the Pope live?
Joey: ln the woods. No. Wait, that's the joke answer.
Salesman: Actually, it's Vatican City.