‘The One with Ross's Sandwich’
Season 5, Episode 9 - Aired December 10, 1998
After somebody at Ross's work eats his Thanksgiving leftover sandwich, he turns to Phoebe for advice on how to appear threatening. Meanwhile, Phoebe regrets inviting Rachel to a literature class when she doesn't bother to read the book, and Joey gets fed up of covering for Chandler and Monica.
Quote from Monica
Rachel: Monica, is this true?
Joey: Of course, it's true. How else would you explain all the weird stuff that's been going on?
Monica: Yes, it's true.
Rachel: Okay, but if it only happened that one time, how come we found your underwear in our apartment the other day?
Joey: That was the underwear I was wearing that night in London. Right, Monica?
Monica: I guess I wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
Ross: My God, Monica!
Quote from Joey
Chandler: Are you sure, Joe? Are you sure you're not just a sex addict?
Joey: No! And if anyone's a sex addict here, it's Monica. Yeah. She has been trying to get me back in the sack ever since London.
Phoebe: So that's why she gave you a naked picture of herself.
Joey: That makes sense.
Rachel: And the video camera?
Joey: Uh, Monica?
Monica: I guess I set up the video camera to try and entice Joey.
Joey: But, sadly, I could not be enticed.
Quote from Monica
Monica: I'm Monica. I'm disgusting. I stalk guys and keep their underpants.
Quote from Chandler
Chandler: Yeah, you know, I hate it when they make me see the shrink at my office. You know, he's always like "Oh, maybe your colleagues will like you better if you like yourself better." Who needs that?
Monica: You do.
Chandler: I know.
Quote from Chandler
Phoebe: What am I sitting on?
Chandler: Top of the world? Dock of the bay? I'm out.
Quote from Chandler
Chandler: All right, listen. All this lying has been hard on us too.
Joey: Yeah, I bet all the sex makes it easier.
Chandler: Well, yeah, actually.
Quote from Joey
Chandler: Help us.
Monica: Help.
Joey: All right. But you do it with me once.
Monica: Joey!
Joey: Didn't think so.
Quote from Phoebe
Phoebe: Okay, this will keep them away from your stuff.
All: Whoa.
Monica: Phoebe, you are a badass!
Phoebe: And someday I'll tell you about the time I stabbed the cop.
Monica: Phoebe.
Phoebe: What? He stabbed me first!
Quote from Joey
Cynthia: This was really fun. I've been wondering if you'd ask me out.
Joey: So, you still wondering?
Cynthia: No. We just went out.
Joey: You're smart. I like that.