Rachel: I cannot believe that. I mean, I don't really like it when Ross goes out with anyone, but my sister? Isn't that like incest or something? Oh, my God, and they're gonna have sex. Oh, no. And what if he marries her too? This is just terrible. This is just terrible. And I can't stop it. I don't own Ross, you know. And Jill should be able to do whatever it is that she wants to do. Oh, my God, I can't believe Ross is marrying my little sister.

Rachel: So what'd you get?
Phoebe: Oh, well, all right. I got this, you know, "I want a job" sweater. And then I got these- These are apartment pants.
Rachel: Apartment pants?
Phoebe: Yeah, you've never heard of them?
Rachel: Of course, I've heard of them. Ross, what'd you get?
Ross: I got this... This.
Rachel: A Pashmina?
Ross: Yeah. I love these babies.
Rachel: Really? Ross, what's a Pashmina?
Ross: It's a rug.

Chandler: Come on. Don't take this personally. I just can't have sex with a sick person.
Monica: I'm with you, Chandler. I mean, I can't have sex with a sick person either. It's disgusting. But I'm not sick. Let me prove it to you. We are two healthy people in the prime of life.
Chandler: See, that's the thing, I would like to stay in the [in congested voice] "prime of life."

Jill: Were you this cute in high school?
Ross: Oh, stop.
Jill: No, you stop.
Ross: No, you stop.
Phoebe: Okay, okay. Why don't I sit here and then you'll both stop it.

Jill: I mean, he's nice. He's the kind you're friends with, but not the kind you date. I mean, he's the kind you date, because you did. But me? Not so much.

Joey: Okay, Rach, that's muffin and espresso, $4.50. Ross, double latte, $2.75. Chandler, coffee and a scone, $4.25. And Pheebs, herbal tea, $1 .25. All together that's $12.75.
Chandler: This coming from the man who couldn't split our $80 phone bill in half.

Ross: Hey, Joey, how come our stuff isn't free?
Joey: It will be when you look like that in a tight skirt.

Joey: This is great. I'm getting more dates than ever.
Rachel: Wait a minute, Joey. You're only giving away free stuff to the pretty girls?
Phoebe: Joey, that is so gross.
Joey: How about a scone on the house, baby?
Phoebe: [giggles] I'm pretty.

Phoebe: Which sister is this? Is this the spoiled one or the one that bit her?
Jill: Daddy cut me off.
Phoebe: Never mind, I got it.

Rachel: Honey, so what did you do that made dad cut you off?
Jill: Okay, I bought a boat.
Monica: You bought a boat?
Jill: Yeah, but it wasn't for me, it was for a friend.
Chandler: Boy, did we make friends with the wrong sister.