Chandler: Okay, I think this is a good thing. We've had our first fight, and now we can move on.
I know for me, but- Nick's pants?
Kathy: Yeah.
Chandler: Well, I think our second fight is going to be a big one!

Monica: What do you think of the floor?
Joey: I don't know. Looks the same.
Monica: You used to have carpet.
Joey: Oh, yeah.

Monica: Stay. Just keep talking. I'm always the hostess.

Joey: How'd it go?
Chandler: Well, she wasn't sleeping with him.
Phoebe: Oh, good.
Chandler: She is now.
Ross: What are you saying?
Chandler: I'm saying that she is a devil woman. You think you know a person, then they turn around and sleep with Nick. Nick and his rock-hard pecs and his giant man-nipples. I hate him. And I hate her. Well, I don't hate her. I love her. This is all my fault, really.
Phoebe: How? How is it your fault?
Chandler: Because, I should have called. If I had just called her after our big stupid fight, she never would have gone out with Nick and they wouldn't have ended up in bed together. I threw her at his man-nipples!

Joey: Let me ask you a question. When they were doing it on stage, was it like really hot?
Ross: Oh, yeah.
Joey: Well, okay. So you're fine. Look, the rule is when two actors are actually doing it off-stage then all the sexual tension between them is gone. Okay, so as long as it's hot on stage, you got nothing to worry about. It's when the heat goes away, that is when you're in trouble.
Chandler: Really?
Joey: Look. You guys have been to every play I've been in. Have I ever had chemistry on stage?
Ross: No.
Joey: No!