Chandler: Yeah, buddy, that's all you needed, a bunch of toothless guys hitting each other with sticks.

Rachel: Uh, Pheebs, who's George Snuffleupagus?
Phoebe: That's Big Bird's friend.

Chandler: Excuse me. Look, we've been here for over an hour, and a lot of people less sick than my friend have gone in. I mean, that guy with the toe thing, who's he sleeping with?

Chandler: Oh, come on, Dora. Don't be mad. I know we both said some things we didn't mean but that doesn't mean we still don't love each other. You know, I feel like I've lost her. [the nurse opens the sliding window] Bah!

Joey: He's right. Enough. What's the big deal about today? So you slept with her for the first time. You slept with her for seven years after that.
Ross: Look, it's a little more complicated-
Chandler: But what, what is it? That she left you? That she likes women? That she left you for a woman that likes women?
Ross: A little louder. I think there's a man on the 1 2th floor in a coma who didn't quite hear you.

Rachel: Okay, okay, I got one. Anyway, the valentine Tommy Rollerson left in your locker was really from me!
Monica: Excuse me?
Rachel: Oh, hello! Like he was really gonna send you one. She was a big girl!
Monica: Really? Well, at least big girls don't pee in their pants in seventh grade!
Rachel: I was laughing. You made me laugh!

Joey: Wow. Man, can you believe he's only had sex with one woman?
Chandler: I think it's great. You know, it's sweet. It's romantic.
Joey: Really?
Chandler: No, you kidding? The guy's a freak. I judge him.

Chandler: Oh, I thought you were great in Silence of the Lambs.

Rachel: Hello? Oh, yeah. No, I know. I haven't been using it much. Oh, well, thanks. But l' m okay, really. I've got magic beans. No, no, never mind. I'm fine.

Rachel: I mean, what? Chandler, look at that.
Chandler: This is not that bad.
Joey: You're fine, yeah, for a first job.
Ross: You can totally, totally live on this.
Phoebe: Oh, yeah.
Monica: Yeah.
Ross: Oh, by the way, great service today.
[The gang all tip Rachel.]