Phoebe: Good, very good, firm but tender. I'd recommend you to a friend.

Joey: Then I don't know what it is. What's the problem?
Monica: Joey, you know, maybe your just not used to kissing men, maybe you just tensed up a little, maybe that's what you need to work on.
Joey: Yeah, that makes sense. [Joey looks at Ross]
Ross: Over my dead body.
Chandler: [Joey looks at Chandler] And I'll be using his dead body as a shield.

Phoebe: Great. Go, man, go put on your shoes, and, and march out there and meet her. Oh, wait, no, no you have to take a shower, 'cause, eww. No, you know what you have to answer her, answer her first. No, no, you know what make some coffee 'cause its too much.

Rachel: Hey Joey, how'd the audition go?
Joey: Incredible. I met the director this time and you'll never believe who it was.
Ross: Who?
Joey: All right. I'll give you one hint. Warren Beatty.

Chandler: Hey, what did your agent say?
Joey: Yep, this kiss thing is defiantly a problem. Mr. Beatty wants to see it again on Monday. Man, I gotta figure out what I'm doing wrong. Oh, okay, one of you girls come over here and kiss me.

Phoebe: All right. I'll do it, I kissed him before I can do it again.
Joey: You see this, this is a friend.

Ross: So don't, I don't see why we have to go to this thing anyway, it's your ex-fiancee's wedding.
Rachel: Because I promised Mindy I would.
Monica: Yeah, well you promised Barry, you'd marry him. [Monica crawls away]

Phoebe: Ooh, someone's wearing the same clothes they had on last night. Someone get a little action?
Chandler: I may have.
Monica: Woo-hoo, stud.
Ross: What's she look like?
Chandler: Well, we haven't exactly met, we just stayed up all night talking on the internet.
Monica: Woo-hoo, geek.

Richard: You know that's probably why babies learn to talk, so they can tell grown ups to cut it out.

Richard: Well, uh, sometimes I think about selling my practice, we could move to France, make French toast.
Monica: Okay, so, uh, we're in France, we're making the toast. Do you see a little bassinet in the corner?
Richard: Like a hound?
Monica: Not a basset, a bassinet.