Chandler: It's a tradition, like the parade. If the parade decided it was gay, moved out and abandoned its entire family.

Rachel: What? Joey got a turkey stuck on his head?
Joey: It's not like it sounds.
Chandler: It's exactly like it sounds.

Monica: That turkey has to feed 20 people at my parent's house and they're not going to eat it off your head.

Monica: I really don't want to tell this story.
Chandler: Oh, come on, Monica. Reliving pain and getting depressed is what Thanksgiving's all about. You know, for me, anyway. And, of course, the lndians.

Ross: Everyone this is Chandler. My roommate and the lead singer of our band.
Monica: Ross?
Ross: This is Monica.
Monica: Hi, I'm Ross's little sister.
Chandler: [snorting] Okay.

Judy Geller: I'm so glad you could come, Chandler. We've got plenty of food, so I hope you're hungry.
Ross: Oh, Mom, no, no. Chandler hates Thanksgiving and doesn't eat any Thanksgiving food.
Judy Geller: Oh. Well, I'm so glad you brought him here then.

Monica: Chandler, if you want, I can make you some macaroni and cheese for dinner.
Chandler: Well, as long as the Pilgrims didn't eat it, I'm in.

Ross: I'm sorry, Judy. I couldn't find that bowl you and Jack were looking for.
Monica: Call them Mom and Dad, you loser.
Ross: Monica!

Monica: Hey, Chandler. Did you like the macaroni and cheese?
Chandler: Oh, yeah. It was great. You should be a chef.
Monica: Okay!

Chandler: I'm so sorry. I really am. I was an idiot back then. I rushed the stage at a Wham! concert, for crying out loud.
Phoebe: Ugh. I can't believe you called her fat.
Ross: I can't believe you let George Michael slap you.