‘The One with All the Thanksgivings’
Season 5, Episode 8 - Aired November 19, 1998
After Thanksgiving dinner the group talk about some of their worst Thanksgiving memories.
Quote from Monica
Rachel: That's not the Thanksgiving I was talking about.
Monica: Yes, it was.
Rachel: No, it was actually-
Monica: Okay. Thanksgiving's over. Let's get ready for Christmas. Who wants to go get a Christmas tree?
Quote from Phoebe
Phoebe: I have the cutest Christmas story.
Chandler: Okay, but we want to hear Monica's story.
Phoebe: Okay. Mine had a dwarf that got broke in half, but, you know, whatever.
Quote from Rachel
Monica: Okay, so how do I make him think I want to have sex?
Rachel: Oh, here's what you do. Just act like everything around you turns you on.
Monica: What do you mean?
Rachel: Well, like, anything can be sexy. Like this dish towel. Ooh, ooh. This feels so good against my cheek. And if I get a little hot, I can just dab myself with it. Or I can bring it down to my side and maybe run it through my fingers while I talk to him.
Monica: I can do that.
Quote from Chandler
Monica: I'm sorry. I'll go get it.
Doctor: It's too late. All we can do now is sew up the wound.
Chandler: Without my toe? I need my toe.
Quote from Chandler
Chandler: That's why I lost my toe? Because I called you fat?
Monica: I didn't mean to cut it off. It was an accident.
Chandler: That's why for an entire year people called me Sir Limps-a-lot?
Monica: I'm sorry. It wasn't your whole toe.
Chandler: Yeah, well, I miss the tip. It's the best part. It has the nail.
Quote from Chandler
Chandler: I can't believe this.
Monica: I said I was sorry.
Chandler: Yeah, well, "Sorry" doesn't bring back the piggy that cried all the way home.
Quote from Chandler
Chandler: Oh, I'm a duck. I go quack-quack. I'm happy all the time.
Quote from Chandler
Rachel: Every time you tell that story that guy's accent gets thicker and thicker.
Phoebe: So are he and your dad still together?
Chandler: No, no, no. After they got their own place, the houseboy got his own houseboy. You should have heard his accent.
Quote from Joey
Rachel: Hey, you know what we should all do? We should play that game where everyone says one thing they're thankful for.
Joey: Ooh, I am thankful for this beautiful fall we've been having.
Rachel: Very nice.
Chandler: That's sweet, Joe.
Joey: Yeah, the other day, I was at the bus stop and this lovely fall breeze came and blew this chick's skirt right up. Oh, which reminds me, I'm also thankful for thongs.