‘The One with All the Rugby’
Season 4, Episode 15 - Aired February 26, 1998
Ross tries to show Emily he can be a tough guy by playing rugby. Meanwhile, Monica obsesses over a switch in the apartment that doesn't appear to do anything, while Chandler tries desperately to extricate himself from a relationship with Janice.
Quote from Joey
Joey: Right here, it's called a "scrum." It's kind of like a huddle.
Ross: And is a hum kind of like a scruddle?
Joey: Ross, they're going kill you.
Quote from Rachel
Ross: She thought the very idea of me playing rugby was hilarious. So I'm going to show her how tough I really am.
Rachel: [laughs] I'm sorry. You are a tough guy. You are the toughest paleontologist I know.
Quote from Joey
Joey: Come on. Ross can take care of himself. It's not like he's Chandler.
Chandler: Thanks.
Quote from Rachel
Ross: I'll just look energetic and stay away from the ball. I'll be that guy, right outside the circle.
All: Oh!
Rachel: Well, maybe there was a dog looking at him.
Quote from Ross
Ross: I know what to do. I've got to go Red Ross. You know, Red Ross?
Joey: Totally don't know what you're talking about.
Ross: Come on. That time we were waiting in line for Dances With Wolves and that one guy cut in front of us and I just lost it? Screamed at him, turned all red. Red Ross!
Quote from Rachel
Rachel: You are not going to believe it. Joshua came in today, and guess what happened?
Monica: He asked you out?
Rachel: No. But I was showing him some cuff links, and I felt his pulse.
Monica: Saucy.
Quote from Joey
Ross: No, I'm not stopping. I'm Red Ross!
Joey: Dude, you go back out there, you're going to be Dead Ross.
Quote from Rachel
Rachel: What are these?
Monica: Just some pictures I made and hung up. I thought they'd brighten up the place. They do, don't you think? [Rachel starts pulling pictures off the wall] No, no, no. I know there's no hole there, I just really like that picture.
Rachel: Oh, my God. Look at this.
Monica: But there is a wire back there. That switch is connected to something.
Rachel: I don't care. The wires have come loose in your head!
Quote from Phoebe
Monica: All right. The super couldn't figure out what it did. The $200-an-hour electrician couldn't figure out what it did. I've had seven pretty serious shocks. I officially give up.
Rachel: Thank God.
Monica: I guess Joey was right. It does nothing.
[In the other apartment, Phoebe and Joey are watching TV. It turns on and off]
Phoebe: See? I'm doing it. I am totally doing it. I lost it.
Quote from Joey
Ross: I'm watching this rugby thing on ESPN. I don't know what the big deal is. I'm man enough to play this sport.
Joey: Dude, you're not even man enough to order the channel that carries the sport.