Joey: Since you're going to be here for a while, I was thinking we could put your name on the answering machine.
Chandler: Oh, yeah.
Ross: I hope you don't mind but I kind of already jazzed it up a little. Check it out. [Queen's "We Will Rock You" playing] We will, We will call you back.
Joey: Pretty cool. [to Chandler] You're fake laughing too, right?
Chandler: Oh, the tears are real.

Rachel: How's Ross doing since all the Emily stuff?
Monica: He's not great, but he's dealing with it. Oh, wait a minute, you're not going to try-
Rachel: Oh, honey, no. Please. I can't get started with all that Ross stuff again. I mean, he's going to be screwed up for a long time. Besides, I don't go for guys right after they get divorced.
Monica: Right, you only go for them five minutes before they get married.

Ross: Emily's cousin kicked me out.
Chandler: What?
Joey: Why?
Ross: Well, when you're subletting an apartment from your wife's cousin and then you get a divorce, sometimes the cousin suddenly wants his apartment back.
Chandler: How can do that? Didn't you sign a lease?
Ross: Who needs a lease when it's [squeaky] "family"?

Ross: I'm going to get packing again. Man, I've been moving around so much lately that I feel like a nomad. [Joey giggles] What?
Chandler: He thought you said gonad.

Phoebe: Ha, you saw the hat in the kitchen and knew she'd go in there hatless to get it. You could have your own health inspector detective show.
Larry: I don't know about that.
Phoebe: Yeah, but then I could be your sidekick, Voonda.

Joey: Come on, Chandler. Ross is our friend. He needs us right now. So why don't you be a grownup and come watch TV in the fort?

Joey: All right, I have one question. What is the deal with this?
Chandler: Bye-bye, little puppet Joey hand?
Joey: No, the quiet down thing.
Chandler: Oh, you mean this.
Joey: Uh-mmm! Look, I don't know how much more I can take. Did you know he taped over my Baywatch tape with some show about bugs? My God. What if that had been porn?
Chandler: Oh.

Ross: I guess I could check apartment listings, though there's never anything in there.
Chandler: Not even on page seven?
Ross: You're right. Here's an affordable place. Two-bedroom, close to work. Ooh, it's available in five weeks.
Chandler: What about that circled one?
Ross: I don't know. It's kind of expensive for a studio.
Joey: But it's available now. Isn't it?
Chandler: Yes, it is.
Joey: Hey, let's go look at it.
Ross: Oh, okay.
Chandler: There we go.
Ross: Oh, oh, oh. Hey, guys,I was wondering if you would maybe chip in for some new air filters for the purifier? I mean, after all, we are all using it.
Chandler: Let's go quicker.

Chandler: We are bad people.
Joey: He knew we were trying to get rid of him. He knew. You think we could we get a bathtub in our kitchen?

Joey: It's the apartment manager. Ross put us as references. Ross is the greatest guy you'll ever meet. He's very reliable-
Chandler: Of course, he has a big, huge dog that barks into the night. Well, who doesn't love dogs? He's a tap dancer. Yes, some would say that is a lost art. He's a pimp! There you go.
Yes, he's a pimp. He's a big, tap-dancing pimp. Hello?