‘The One Where Rachel Smokes’
Season 5, Episode 18 - Aired April 8, 1999
Rachel feels her boss and co-worker are making important decisions without her when they go outside for a smoke. Meanwhile, Joey auditions for a soup commercial along side Ross's son, Ben, and Phoebe is upset that Monica is taking charge of everything when they throw a birthday party for Rachel.
Quote from Joey
Joey: It turns out one of the casting ladies has actually seen me in a play, so I steered clear of her.
Quote from Joey
Carol: That kid looks familiar.
Joey: Oh, yeah. He's done tons of commercials. I've seen him in Sugar Smacks, PlayStation and that one for the phone company. He was so good, he convinced me to switch phone companies. Chandler was mad.
Quote from Chandler
Rachel: It's like I'm being punished for not having this disgusting, poisonous habit.
Chandler: Yeah, it is the best.
Quote from Rachel
Rachel: What if this keeps happening? They'll be outside smoking, making all the decisions and I'll just be up in my office breathing in my stupid clean air, you know. And when the day comes when Kim wants to promote one of us, who do you think she's going to pick? Me or Smokey Smokerson?
Quote from Monica
Phoebe: Let's talk about the party. I have so many ideas.
Monica: Me too.
Phoebe: Oh, look at that.
Monica: All right. This is a little sketch of the cake. See? Some sample menus. You know, I thought we'd start out with a Tuscan-style finger food. And for music, here's an alphabetized list of all of my CDs. I've highlighted the ones that'll go really good with the food.
Phoebe: What happened to the intimate dinner party?
Monica: Oh, you know, we're not doing that.
Quote from Joey
Ross: Oh, God. This is so nerve-racking. How do you do this?
Joey: Fortunately, I don't get many callbacks, so...
Carol: Is it a good sign that they asked us to wait?
Joey: Who knows?
Quote from Chandler
Phoebe: Is it okay if I leave this here till Rachel's birthday party?
Chandler: Sure. What's in them?
Phoebe: Cups.
Chandler: Oh, good, because we got 800 gallons of water.
Quote from Chandler
Joey: Chandler, tell him.
Chandler: Well, let me get the door first. Oh, hi, no one.
Quote from Joey
Ross: And why wouldn't he get it?
Joey: Oh, come on! Have you seen what my kid can do? I mean, he dials phones, he eats tortilla chips, he plays soccer with the cartoon tiger.
Ross: Are you saying your kid eats soup better than my kid?
Joey: You just give him a spoon, baby.
Quote from Joey
Joey: This commercial belongs to me and Mitch.
Ross: Your kid's name is Raymond.
Joey: Yeah? So is yours.