Casting Director: You know what? We need to move on.
Joey: No, I could do it one more time. Look. Mm, noodle soup. Damn it!

Rachel: What? My birthday is not for another month.
Monica: That's the surprise.
Rachel: Oh, my God, you guys. This is so great. It's so unexpected. I mean, Chandler's birthday is even before mine.
Group: Surprise!

Joey: It's not your fault I suck. I mean, what kind of an actor can't even say, "Mm, noodle soup"?

Ross: You know what? Maybe you didn't mess up your audition because you suck. Maybe you messed up because you care more about your godson.
Joey: What do you mean?
Ross: I think, subconsciously-
Joey: Whoa, whoa. You lost me.
Ross: I think, on some level, you sabotaged your own audition so Ben would get the part.
Joey: Well, your way sounds a lot better than mine. Yeah. Yeah. It's not that I'm a bad actor.
Ross: No.
Joey: It's just that I care so damn much about little Ben that it was more important for me to see him succeed.
Ross: There you go. Thank you.
Joey: Thank you. So did he get it?
Ross: No.
Joey: Eh, what are you gonna do?

Casting Director: All right. Let's try one.
Joey: Mm, noodle soup.
Casting Director: Let's do it again.
Joey: Mm, soup. I mean, noodle soup. I mean, soup.
Raymond: Come on!

Joey: Man, I've been in that park a million times and no one's offered me an audition.
Ross: I know, it's crazy. We were just pushing Ben on the swings-
Joey: I'm always on the swings. What am I doing wrong?
Chandler: That.

Chandler: Hey, Ross, if Ben gets the commercial, do you think you can get me some free soup?
Ross: Chandler, a can of soup is like 60 cents.
Chandler: Yeah, okay, but I have been supporting a 29-year-old Italian for five years.

Carol: Hey, guys.
Chandler: Hi there.
Carol: Guess what. Ben is gonna be in a TV commercial.
Phoebe: What are you talking about?
Ross: Well, it's not for sure, but we met this guy in the park who thought Ben was really cute. You know, which he is. Anyhoo, he gave us his card and told us to bring him for this commercial he's auditioning.
Joey: Whoa. This guy's like the biggest commercial casting director in town. Ben takes one lousy walk in the park and gets an audition? I mean, way to go, Ben!

Chandler: Hey, Rach, now that you work at Ralph Lauren, can you bring me back some of those polo shirts?
Rachel: Well, you know what, I don't know if I feel comfortable stealing on my very first day.
Chandler: Unwilling to steal from work. Interesting.

Monica: I think it's a great idea. We can have a dinner party and just invite her close friends.
Joey: [shouting] Ross! We're having a surprise party for Rachel.
Ross: Okay.
Joey: Done.