‘The One Where No One's Ready’
Season 3, Episode 2 - Aired September 26, 1996
Ross is infuriated as he struggles to get his friends ready to attend a speech he's giving at the museum. Monica is obsessing over her break-up with Richard, while Joey and Chandler argue over a chair.
Quote from Rachel
Rachel: I'm not gonna go.
Ross: You're not gonna go?
Rachel: No, I think I'm gonna catch up on my correspondence.
Ross: How can you not be going?
Rachel: I'm not gonna go. So I think that will accomplish the "not going."
Quote from Rachel
Ross: You know, just out of curiosity-
Rachel: Well, ever since I was humiliated and yelled at in front of my friends, I'm just, I don't know, not in a very museum benefit-y kind of mood.
Quote from Joey
Ross: What can I do to show you how much I want you to be there?
Joey: You could drink the fat.
Ross: Hi. Welcome to an adult conversation.
Quote from Phoebe
Phoebe: Wait. Let me get you another glass, that one's been sitting out.
Quote from Joey
Rachel: You were really gonna do that.
Ross: Well, yeah.
Rachel: You were gonna drink the fat.
Joey: Let's see what else he'll do.
Quote from Ross
Ross: Okay, vanilla milkshake. Just a vanilla milkshake ... with chicken bits floating in it.
Quote from Rachel
Rachel: Oh, and by the way-
Ross: What?
Rachel: I'm going commando, too.
Ross: [groans]
Quote from Phoebe
Chandler: What's going on?
Phoebe: Monica's beeping into Richard's machine.
Chandler: Is she crazy?
Phoebe: Like a straw. [off Rachel and Chandler's confusion] Remember crazy straws?
Quote from Joey
Chandler: Fine, you know, maybe we'll both sit in the chair.
Joey: Fine with me.
Chandler: I am so comfortable.
Joey: Me too. In fact, I think I might be a little too comfortable. [Chandler immediately gets up]