Mike: Oh, she's my girlfriend. That's not just how we do it here.

Phoebe: Oh, you have got to sing.
Monica: No, I told you I can't. But you would have so much fun. And you have a really nice voice.
Monica: When have you heard me sing?
Phoebe: All the time, when you're cooking.
Monica: What?
Phoebe: Yeah, you're always singing: "Yummy, yummy, yummy, I've got love in my tummy"
Monica: Yeah, I do rock that one.

Ross: I don't believe this. I just keep striking out.
Chandler: I don't get it either. I mean, you're obviously desperate. You're asking women how they wanna be killed.

Michelle: All I ever wanted was to just love him and have him love me back. I mean, am I so unlovable?
Chandler: Wow.
Ross: I know!

Mike: All right. That was Kenneth with his much too literal rendition of "I Touch Myself".

Joey: I need your help.
Chandler: Wow, it seems serious. What seems to be the problem, Ashley Judd?
Joey: I'm getting new headshots taken, all right. So I went to get my eyebrows shaped.
Chandler: I'm sorry. Moment to make fun of that, please.
Joey: I may be a sissy, but I'll still pound you into the ground.

Joey: Look, you got to help me out, okay? Look, I have a magic marker. I want you to fill in the skinny one so I don't look stupid for my pictures.
Chandler: Okay, first of all, this is green.

Chandler: You know how most kids get their allowance from mowing the lawn or taking out the garbage? Well, I earned mine by plucking the eyebrows of my father and his "business partners."
Joey: Oh, my God.
Chandler: Yeah, well, I guess you don't need my help, Victor/Victoria.

Joey: I need your help. But, Chandler, I don't know if I can take any more plucking. It hurt so bad.
Chandler: Not with my combination of ice cubes, aloe vera and my gentle self-loathing touch.

Michelle: Thank you so much for letting me do this. Public bathrooms freak me out. I can't even pee, let alone do anything else.
Ross: But what's great is, you don't mind talking about it.