Chandler: So you don't want to live with Don in a cheese house?
Monica: No, I've had second thoughts about that. Do you realize how hard that would be to clean?

Chandler: You know, I'm gonna take you out to dinner tonight. I found this place that makes the greatest mozzarella sticks and jalapeno poppers. No? Really? They taste so good.

Rachel: And I know Chandler was kidding, but it happens every time he touches my stomach. I mean, I'm really worried the baby is not going to like him.

Waiter: Okay. Sorry about the wait, but it is mega-jammed in here. We have a couple of specials tonight-
Joey: Actually, could you give us a second?
Waiter: Sure. Sure. Second's up! [Joey glares at him] Not that kind of table.

Rachel: So you were saying?
Joey: I'm not quite sure.
Rachel: Okay. Well, you had asked me how long we knew each other, and I said eight years. And then the waiter came over and cut his tip in half. And now here we are.

Ross: What if they get married? Then he'd be the stepfather of my child.
Monica: Honey, I don't think that's something you need to worry about. First of all, he's never going to tell her how he feels about her. And even if he did, you have no idea how she'd react.
Ross: Sure, because women never like Joey. You know, I think he's a virgin.

Joey: I understand if you came by to hit me. I deserve it.
Ross: No, I don't want to hit you.
Joey: What, then? Kick me?
Ross: No.
Joey: Bite me?
Ross: No, I don't want to do anything to you.

Joey: You wanna come in for a beer or something?
Ross: Yeah, sure.
Joey: You got any beer?

Ross: So when are you gonna talk to her?
Joey: Oh, my God. I have to tell her. I haven't even thought about it. What should I say?
Ross: I'm understanding, but let's not get carried away.

Monica: You know what I'd love to do? I would like to go to France and eat nothing but bread and cheese. Not even bread. Just cheese. No, I want the bread. And pastries. And pate. I'm really not high. It's just that I used to be fat.