‘The One Where Emma Cries’
Season 9, Episode 2 - Aired October 3, 2002
After returning home from the hospital, Rachel worries she'll never get the hang of being a mother when she can't get Emma to stop crying. Meanwhile, Chandler falls asleep in a work meeting, and Joey and Ross end up back at the hospital.
Quote from Phoebe
Rachel: You know what, I can't worry about it right now. Because I've got the cutie little baby. I can't believe how much I love her. I mean, I can't get enough of her. Like, right now? I miss her. I actually miss her.
Phoebe: You know, that's her?
Quote from Rachel
Ross: You said you'd marry Joey?
Rachel: Okay, you have to realize, I was exhausted, I was emotional. I would have said yes to anybody. Like that time when you and I got married. I'm not helping.
Quote from Rachel
Rachel: Look, there's something every mother needs. A giant, stuffed gorilla that takes up the entire apartment. What are people think- Oh, you guys, I love it.
Quote from Phoebe
Phoebe: She's just so cute. I just want to bite her ear off and use it as a sucking candy.
Quote from Monica
Monica: But I could take one of those little feet and put it in a pita pocket.
Quote from Phoebe
Monica: It breaks your heart, doesn't it?
Phoebe: It really does. How long do you think we have to stay?
Quote from Rachel
Rachel: Mon, what am I gonna do? It's been hours, and it won't stop crying.
Monica: She, Rach. Not it. She.
Rachel: Yeah. I'm not so sure.
Quote from Phoebe
Phoebe: All right, you guys, we can't turn on each other, okay? That's just what she wants.
Quote from Phoebe
Chandler: Can I talk to you outside?
Rachel: Just stay here. I'm gonna check her diaper. Pheebs, you want to come?
Phoebe: I'm kind of part of this.
Chandler: Actually, Pheebs, it's more of a husband-and-wife kind of thing.
Phoebe: I knew I should've married Chandler.
Quote from Chandler
Monica: Okay, what's up?
Chandler: Okay. You know we always said it would be fun to move to Paris for a year? And you could study French cooking, and I could write and we could picnic along the Seine, and go wine-tasting in Bordeaux.
Monica: Yeah.
Chandler: Okay. You know how people say that Tulsa is the Paris of Oklahoma?
Monica: What? Who says that?
Chandler: People who have never been to Paris?
Monica: Well, what's going on?
Chandler: We're moving to Tulsa.
Monica: Excuse me?
Chandler: Okay. Ms. McKenna, she kind of works above my boss. She asked me to move to Tulsa and be the president of our office there. And I was sleeping and apparently said yes.
Monica: Tulsa, Oklahoma?
Chandler: The Sooner State. Whatever that is.