Chandler: Okay, this is it. We're gonna get married.
Monica: You sure you wanna do this?
Ross: Hello, Mrs. Ross!
Rachel: Well, hello, Mr. Rachel!

Joey: That's right. You take good care of those babies.
Randall: Excuse me?
Joey: It's me. Joey.
Randall: Do I know you?
Joey: Joey?
Randall: Oh, yeah. Yeah, the hand guy.
Joey: Okay, so what are we gonna do about this hand twin thing?
Randall: Nothing.
Joey: Look, you and I have been given a gift. Okay. We have to do something with it. Like hand modeling. Or magic. And you know NASA's gonna want to talk to us.
Randall: I have to get back to work.
Joey: Whoa, whoa, whoa. We can have our own show. We can clap our hands together. People will love it. And I wrote a song for us.
[singing] This hand is your hand, This hand is my hand, Oh, wait, that's your hand, No, wait, it's my hand-
Randall: That's okay.
Joey: But you haven't even heard the chorus.

Phoebe: Okay, lady, your lurking days are over.
Lurker: What?
Phoebe: Yeah. From now on, everyone you lurk, I'll lurk first. You move on to someone else, I'm going to be one step ahead of you every single time. And then I'll be on your ass every hour of every day, till Monday, because that's when I go home. When do you leave?
Lurker: Also Monday.
Phoebe: What time? Maybe we can share a cab.

Phoebe: I won! I finally won!
Lurker: I won. That was my quarter.
Phoebe: All right, here. Take a hike, toots.
Lurker: Excuse me, sir. This lady played my quarter. This is my money.
Security Guard: Is that true, miss?
Phoebe: She sells drugs to kids.
Security Guard: What?
Phoebe: She sells drugs to kids.
Lurker: It was my quarter.
Security Guard: Was it her quarter?
Phoebe: How about we talk about this over dinner?
Security Guard: Okay, lady, you're out of here.
Phoebe: No. No, you can't arrest me. No. I won't go back. I won't go back to that hellhole!
Security Guard: I'm just taking you outside.
Phoebe: Oh, okay.

Phoebe: Hello, my name is Regina Phalange. I'm a businesswoman in town on business. Would you like to see my card? Oh, what did I do with my Filofax? I must've left it in Conference Room B.
Randall: Fourteen.
Joey: Hit me.
Phoebe: Oh, my God. May I just say, that you two gentlemen have the exact same hands? They're identical. Now, I've never seen anything like that in the business world.
Randall: Stop it.
Joey: Miss Phalange, may I ask you a question as an impartial person at this table?
Randall: Please stop it.
Joey: Wouldn't you pay good money to see these identical hands showcased in some type of an entertainment venue?
Randall: If you leave now, I will chop off my hand and give it to you.

Rachel: Ross, there is no way I am leaving looking like this.
Ross: Come on, Rach. It's not that bad.
Rachel: Ross, I am a human doodle!

Ross: I think the check-in is that way.
[A kid points and laughs at Rachel]
Rachel: Oh, kids love me.
Phoebe: Hey. Hi, you guys are here. What'd you do? Did you go to a costume party? Let me guess. Pancho Villa and you're Bob Saget.
Rachel: Pancho Villa?
Phoebe: Yeah.
Rachel: What are you talking about, Pheebs? I don't- Oh, my God! You drew on me?
Ross: Hey, you wet my pants.
Phoebe: Oh, what kind of party was this?

Ross: [on the phone] Yes, hello. I have a question. I used your pen to draw on my friend's face.
A beard and a mustache. [laughs] Thank you. No, she didn't think so. I know. It's like- Anyway, makeup didn't cover it, we've tried everything and nothing's worked. What do we do? Yeah. Uh-huh. Yeah. Oh, okay. Okay. Thank you. [hangs up] Yeah, it's not coming off.
Rachel: What? What else did he say?
Ross: He said he thought I was funny.

Rachel: I need a drink.
Ross: Oh, you know they really overcharge you for that stuff. But who cares, because it's all on me.

Monica: What did you say?
Chandler: You roll another hard eight and we get married here tonight.
Monica: You serious?
Chandler: Yes. I love you. I've never loved anybody as much as I love you.
Monica: I've never loved anybody as much as I love you.
Chandler: Okay. So if an eight comes up, we take it as a sign and we do it. What do you say?
Monica: Okay.
Chandler: All right. Hard eight.
Chandler: Okay, that's a four. And where's the other one?
Drunken Gambler: It went under the table.
Monica: Okay, nobody move. You look that way, I look this way.
Chandler: Okay. Here it is, here it is.
Monica: That could be 4 or 5. It's your call.
Chandler: It's a four.
Monica: I think so too.