Joey: Where is the waitress? I'm starving.
Chandler: It's a buffet, man.
Joey: Oh, here's where I win all my money back!

Monica: Anyway, it just doesn't seem worth it to make a whole turkey for just three people. Okay, it's a lot of work.
Joey: But you gotta have turkey on Thanksgiving. I mean, Thanksgiving with no turkey is like Fourth of July with no apple pie. Or Friday with no two pizzas.
Monica: Fine, if it means that much to you. But there's gonna be a ton left over.
Joey: No, there won't. I promise I will finish that turkey.
Monica: All right. You're telling me you can eat almost an entire turkey in one sitting?
Joey: That's right. Because I'm a Tribbiani. This is what we do. I mean, we may not be great thinkers or world leaders. We don't read a lot or run very fast. But damn it, we can eat!

Charles: Hello, all.
Chandler: Hi Dad.
Monica: Hi, Mr. Bing.
Charles: Nora.
Nora: Charles.
Monica: It's so great to see you both here.
Charles: Yes. Although we may be seeing a little too much of some people. Aren't you a little old to be wearing a dress like that?
Nora: Don't you have a little too much penis to be wearing a dress like that?
Chandler: Oh, my God.

Ross: Wow, Monica. Just so you know, I had my older-brother talk with Chandler.
Monica: What is that?
Ross: Well, I told him that if he ever hurt you I would hunt him down and kick his ass.
[Monica, Phoebe and Rachel laugh]
Ross: What? What is the matter with everybody? I am serious. I would kick his ass!
Phoebe: [laughing] Ross, please, my makeup!

Ross: No, it's not that. Now, what I'm going to say to you, I'm not saying as your friend. Okay, I'm saying it as Monica's older brother.
Chandler: But you're still my friend?
Ross: Not for the next few minutes.
Chandler: During this time, are you still my best man?
Ross: No.
Chandler: Do I still call you Ross?
Ross: Okay. You guys are getting married tomorrow, and I couldn't be more thrilled for both of you. But as Monica's older brother, I have to tell you this: If you ever hurt my little sister, if you ever cause her any unhappiness of any kind, I will hunt you down and kick your ass.
[Chandler laughs]
Ross: What? I'm serious.
[Chandler laughs]
Ross: Hey, dude. Stop it. I'm not kidding here.
Chandler: Okay, I hear what you're saying and thanks for the warning.
Ross: No problem.
Chandler: So are we friends again?
Ross: Yeah.
Chandler: Okay. You won't believe what Monica's older brother just said to me!