Mel: I think it's wonderful. I really do, helping your brother win this prestigious post.
Niles: Well, Frasier, deserves it.
Mel: Because he knows more about wine than you do?
Niles: I wouldn't say that.
Mel: Well, he's probably been in the club longer?
Niles: No, actually, I sponsored his membership.
Mel: Oh, well, so you've never wanted that honor for yourself?
Niles: Well, I wouldn't say never. Who hasn't nursed the dream of one day becoming corkmaster?

Niles: He's always putting himself first and I always let him.
Mel: Why, Niles?
Niles: Oh, I don't know. I think perhaps it's because-
Mel: I'll tell you why. Because you can't see yourself for what you really are. You are a powerful, sexy, dynamic, colossus of a man. In other words, perfect corkmaster.
Niles: I am, aren't I?
Mel: And don't let anyone, anyone ever take that away from you. [Mel kisses Niles] Now, that's all I want to say, because I love you and I don't want to meddle.

Frasier: It's just that the nominations are about to begin. Now listen, this is what I thought we would do. After you nominate me, I will demure modestly for a moment and then I'll say something like...
Niles: I want to be corkmaster.
Frasier: Well, that's a bit artless, don't you think?

Frasier: Well, Niles, this is the moment of truth. Don't choke.
Niles: Please. Prepare to be stomped like a late harvest Gewurztraminer.

Corkmaster: Gentlemen?
Niles: It was jammy, plummy, dense and chewy. There is no doubt in my mind that it was a Napa Valley Merlot.
Corkmaster: You, Frasier.
Frasier: A nice big wine with excellent heft. It's Napa all right, but as I always say, why go Merlot when you can call a Cab?
Corkmaster: I thought this bottle might trip you up. Gentlemen, it's actually a blend. A forty-five percent Cabernet...
Frasier: And?
Corkmaster: And... fifty five percent Merlot. Niles wins by ten percent.

Frasier: Well, Niles, congratulations. Obviously the better man won.
Niles: Frasier, please.
Frasier: No, Niles, don't be modest.
Niles: No, I wasn't, they're starting my inauguration.

All: [singing] Hail corkmaster,
The master of the cork,
He knows which wine goes with fish or pork!
Hail corkmaster,
The master of the cork...
[Niles does a royal wave]

Martin: Thanks for dropping off my tupperware.
Clare: Oh, oh, it's no trouble at all. I was headed out to church this morning... and I thought, "Oh, Marty's right on the way."
Martin: What's the matter with us?

Frasier: Dad, listen, Stan's been gone a while now. I mean, you're not teenagers, you're two mature people reaching out for some companionship. I think it's adorable.
Martin: Adorable?

Frasier: You know, I have half a mind to say something to Niles. He is making a terrible mistake with that woman.
Martin: Frasier.
Frasier: But Dad, it is Maris all over again. She's dominating him, emasculating him.
Martin: Look, I don't like her anymore than you do and God knows we've been through this before. I didn't like Lilith, we both didn't like Maris and you boys sure as hell didn't like Sherry, but what good did it do talking about it?
Frasier: He's repeating a terrible pattern.
Martin: Well he's going to repeat it whether you like it or not. And if you say anything, you're just going to drive a wedge between you. So, nobody's going to say a word.