Frasier: You know, the whole purpose of this brunch is to get to know Mel better, but it just irks the hell out of me preparing a sumptuous brunch for Niles after the way he betrayed me at the wine club.
Roz: Oh, would you shut up about that corkmaster thing. I already hate you for putting that song in my head.

Frasier: Mrs. Wojadubakowski.
Martin: Yeah, look who just came here. Look who it is.
Frasier: I didn't even hear the doorbell ring, what brings you here?
Martin: Oh, she just brought me back my chili bowl. Well, thanks a lot, and I'll see you later.
Frasier: No, Dad, where are your manners? Why don't you join us for brunch, Clare? I insist. I'm not sure that we'll be able to give you a treat as spicy as the one that Dad gave you but...
Clare: Yes, he does make very good chili.
Frasier: Isn't that flattering, Dad? You know what, I think someone wants seconds.

Frasier: Oh, splendid idea, Roz; Bloody Marys. You know, why don't you offer one of those to Clare?
Martin: Oh, I don't think she's got time.
Daphne: I'll ask her. Mrs. Wojadubakowski, Mr. Crane was wondering if you had time for a quick one.

Martin: Look, Frasier, there's something you should know about me and Clare: we just slept together.
Frasier: Are you sure? She just got here two minutes ago.
Martin: She was here earlier. I just don't know what came over us. You know, we just couldn't keep our hands off each other. We were like animals or sex-crazed teenagers.
Frasier: Well, what's wrong with that?
Martin: Well, I'll tell you what's wrong with that, she's Stan's widow. I mean, he didn't even like it when I borrowed his lawn mower.

Clare: Martin, I really have to be getting to church.
Martin: Oh, yeah, sure, okay. Well, I'll just walk you out.
Niles: You know what, by the way, I'm so sorry to hear about your husband.
Clare: Oh, thank you. Thank you.
Niles: I understand Dad's been doing what he can to fill the void.

Roz: Can I pour you a Bloody Mary, Mel?
Mel: Not for me. It's a little early in the day for hard liquor, don't you think?
Roz: Not anymore.

Mel: Niles, let's get this gravlax in the refrigerator. Oh, hello, Eddie. Or should I say goodbye?
Martin: Huh?
Mel: Well, Martin, I'm sure you'll be locking Eddie out on the balcony if people are going to be eating here.
Martin: Well, I'll tell you who I'd like to lock out on the balcony.
Roz: Oh, please, let it be me.

Frasier: Now, now, maybe I remind you that we're having this little bruncheon in order to get acquainted with Mel. We owe it to Niles to give her a chance.
Daphne: I agree with Dr. Crane, we should all have another Bloody Mary.
Frasier: I didn't say that.
Daphne: It was implied.

Mel: Oh, Frasier, I almost forgot. The corkmaster and I brought this along for you.
Frasier: Oh, well, thank you very much. It's a lovely bottle. I guess Niles must have told you about his eleventh hour victory.
Mel: Oh, yes, and I'm so proud of him.
Niles: Well, let's give credit where credit's due. To Mel.
Frasier: To Mel?
Niles: Well, yes, it was her idea that I should run.
Frasier: Really? Well, perhaps I'll just put this around the corner before the cork flies out and hits someone.

Mel: So, after all these years of doing tummy tucks and liposuctions, I can look at a fully clothed person and see exactly what they look like naked. I can see every sag, droop, ripple and pucker. It's like X-ray vision.
Roz: How interesting. [heads to the kitchen holding her stomach in] I think I'll go check on breakfast.
Frasier: [tensing his muscles] Let me give you a hand with that.