Niles: Frasier?
Frasier: I just think she's Maris all over again. She's manipulative... I think you're repeating a terrible pattern.
Niles: Well, isn't this neat? We all have our individual reasons for disliking her.
Niles: Hey, Dad, what's your reason for disliking Mel?
Daphne: So you did tell him what you think of her. And after shoving me into the kitchen and shaking your freakin' finger at me.
Martin: She's crazy, Niles, I don't know what she's talking about...
Niles: No, no. That's all right, Dad. I- I asked you all to be honest and you were. I got my answer. You know what would have been nice? Is if one of you could have found one nice thing to say about her.
[After Niles storms out, a moment of guilty silence follows for those left in the apartment.]
Daphne: She does have that X-ray vision.

Roz: When you invited me, did you say "brunch for Mel" or "brunch from Hell"?

Frasier: Yes, of course, hello, Mrs. Wojadubakowski, good to see you again. Gosh, I'm sorry again about your loss.
Clare: Thank you.
Frasier: He was a good man, your husband. Dad's often said if it weren't for Stan, he wouldn't have made it through the academy, isn't that right?
Martin: That's right.
Frasier: Didn't he lend you the money for your first car?
Martin: Yeah, he did.
Frasier: Oh course, we all owe him for introducing Dad to Mom.
Martin: Oh, God!

Clare: You know, Marty, I think we better go.
Frasier: Of course. Well, Clare it's lovely seeing you again. Um, please give my regards to your son, Martin.
Martin: Oh, God!

Frasier: Yes, I do hope he hasn't forgotten me completely. We have wine club tonight, I'm sort of counting on him to help me become "corkmaster."
Roz: But you'll still keep your secret identity as Frasier Crane, right?

Frasier: Corkmaster's the most prestigious position in our club. If elected, I plan to have vertical tastings and guest speakers. Perhaps even a trip to Portugal where some of the world's finest corks come from.
Roz: I wish I had a cork right now.
Frasier: Very funny, Roz.

Frasier: Yes, it's a good idea, Roz. Of course, I don't want to make it seem like she's under the family microscope. You know, maybe you could come along.
Roz: Oh, I guess I could.
Frasier: Great.
Roz: Oh, and by Sunday you'll be Corkman.

Frasier: Actually, I won't know until after the election tonight. But you know, I'll let you know.
Roz: Or I could just look up into the sky for the cork signal!
Frasier: Very amusing, Roz.
Roz: If you win, I'd love a ride in the cork-mobile.
Frasier: All right, Roz!

Niles: Do you think I should call him on this?
Mel: Oh, please, the last thing I want to do is come between you and your brother.
Niles: He knows perfectly well how much I've coveted this post. I distinctly confided my aspirations to him the night Judge Rivington fell off the ferry after the spring tasting.

Frasier: Oh for God's sake, Niles. That wine spent less time in the bottle! [Niles spits out the wine]