Niles: Um, you know those shows where I sat in for Frasier? You wouldn't happen to have those tapes, would you?
Tom: Sorry. I don't collect just anything.

Martin: Hey, there he is. Did you get your tape back?
Frasier: Actually, no, I didn't.
Daphne: What happened?
Frasier: Daphne, tonight, I saw an example of how an obsession can take over a man's life. I don't want to be that man. Therefore, I chose to leave it and render my collection imperfect. But that's all right. You see, I don't need things to be perfect. [Frasier walks across the room, but suddenly stops in his tracks] Hello? Something's amiss. [gasps] My double-handled amphora! All right, no one leaves!
[Frasier turns around to find Niles, Daphne and Martin have already fled the scene]

Frasier: Yes, well what a festive day this is. No stop has been un-pulled. I would like to take this opportunity to acknowledge the anniversary luncheon spread supplied by our friends at Senor José Fong, home of the sweet and sour taco.

Frasier: Roz, what do we have next?
Roz: It's time for another blooper.
Frasier: Oh, well, I believe we're up to number four, as voted by you, the listeners. Here's what happened when a certain producer didn't realize her microphone was on, during the show...
Roz: [on tape] Now what the [beep] is this? You call this a [beep] paycheck? How the [beep] am I supposed to live on this [beep]? I'm gonna have a little word with that [beep]-damn station manager, walking around here like he owns the mother-[beep]-ing place!
Kenny: Can't believe that wasn't voted number one.

Frasier: Ladies and gentlemen, it's our station manager, KACL's own Kenny Daly.
Kenny: Listen, Doc, I got a special someone out there who'd like to say "Hello".
Frasier: By all means, let's bring him in, Kenny. Ladies and gentlemen, our special guest has finally arrived. Please welcome...
Bulldog: [barks, uses an air horn]
Frasier: ...Bulldog!
Bulldog: Great to see you, Doc. Hey, Roz.
Frasier: Well, ladies and gentlemen, it's our old friend and former colleague, Bob "Bulldog" Briscoe. Thanks for coming down and helping me celebrate my two thousandth show.
Bulldog: Yeah, yeah congrats. I didn't' think you'd last two weeks. Listen up, sports fans, Bulldog here. I know what you're all thinking, Bulldog's been gone too long. How can you get me back on the air? Okay, listen up. You send your cards and letters of support to Kenny Daly, KACL, PO Box....
Frasier: All right, Bulldog, our special guest has arrived.
Bulldog: PO Box 451, Seattle...

Frasier: Bulldog, would you and your noisemaker wait in Roz's booth?
Bulldog: This is an air horn, Doc.
Frasier: Yes, I was referring to that flapping hole above your chin. Now, get out.

Frasier: Okay, are we all here? Good.
Martin: What's wrong?
Frasier: Something is amiss.
[Frasier dramatically opens the armoire]
Niles: I'll say. I always thought that was a sweater cubby.

Frasier: It's a collection of all my shows. I was just examining my collection when I realized that someone had placed one of my tapes upside down.
Martin: What kind of sick, twisted... Well, turn it right side up and let's go eat. You probably did it yourself.

Niles: There, there, Daphne...
Frasier: Stand down, Niles. Daphne, do you realize what you've done? This isn't like any other tape you can go down to your local music shop and purchase, it's unique. And irreplaceable.
Niles: Can't you just get the station to make you a copy?
Frasier: Unless I get the station to make me another copy. Which, of course, I can. The only transgression here is that Daphne didn't come to me with the truth.
Daphne: I'm so sorry, Dr. Crane, I will never to you lie again.
Frasier: Well, if that's what you've learned, it was all worth it. So, what are we all sitting here for. I believe we all have a two thousandth show to celebrate.

Frasier: You know, in nine years this is the first time I've been down to the archives.
Roz: Oh, my God, I remember this place.
Frasier: Really?
Roz: I came down here once after a Christmas party.
Frasier: Whatever for?
Roz: Well, I had a little too much champagne, and you know how you get a little lonely around the holidays?
Bulldog: Brings back memories, huh, Roz?
Frasier: Bulldog!
Bulldog: That was some Christmas, huh? When Santa left a bit of Bulldog in your stockings.