Niles: Daphne, I know it's difficult, but once she gives me that divorce, we can go anywhere we want. Paris, Florence, Rio.
Daphne: How about my room to fold laundry?
Niles: I hear it's lovely this time of year.

Frasier: Oh, uh, Dad, listen, you know, I've got some company coming over. So if you don't mind, uh-
Martin: Oh, hot date, huh?
Frasier: Well, actually, Dad, the new station owner's coming by to hear some ideas I have about my show.
Martin: Well, it's a woman at least, right?
Frasier: Whatever gets you out of the room faster, Dad.

Frasier: Excuse me. [answers phone] Hello? Ah, Todd, yes, we were just talking about you. Yes, no. No, no, no, no, no, never French cuffs with a button-down collar. [to Niles] He's being fitted by Javier.
Niles: Very nice.
Frasier: [on the phone] The long collar, yes. What sort of stripes? Don't move, I'll be right down there! [hangs up] I have to go.

Frasier: Ah, Mel.
Mel: Frasier. You're looking...
Frasier: And you. We must do this again.

Frasier: Oh, what are you two doing here? Todd's apartment's one floor down.
Roz: We know. But why walk into his housewarming alone when we can go in with his idol?
Frasier: Oh, please, I'm hardly his idol. I'm a paragon at best.

Kenny: What's that?
Frasier: Oh, just a little something that Todd admired when he was over.
Kenny: I didn't know we were supposed to bring gifts. Oh, I'm screwed. I am so fired. God, why did I give my wife the go-ahead for that above-ground pool?

Frasier: Now, remember, that Todd has had people working round the clock, transforming his apartment into his vision of style and taste. And no matter how primitive we may think it is, it's best to be kind. We don't want to stifle his budding creativity.
Roz: You also don't want to stifle that fat syndication deal he's putting together for you.
Frasier: Oh, Roz, you are so cynical. That's why you could never be a mentor.

Frasier: Hello, Niles. Say, if memory serves, you went to the opera with Mel last night. So, did you cause a public spectacle? I didn't read anything in the society pages.
Niles: No, well, it didn't go exactly as I expected. At intermission I got my drink and waited for someone to approach Mel. And finally someone did. Founder's Circle stalwart Ace Lemieux.
Frasier: Ah.
Niles: I coiled, panther-like, ready to fling my drink on his shirtfront, when I noticed he was wearing that wool crepe hand-tailored tuxedo of his. And, well, [laughs nervously] I couldn't raise my hand against such a magnificent garment.
Frasier: Niles, that tux is a blend and you know it.
Niles: Yes, yes, of course I know it. Frasier, I-I just couldn't do it. That kind of loutish behavior, it's just not in my nature.

Frasier: Oh well, good for you, good for you. Now Todd, I-I'd like to talk to you about your apartment.
Todd: You don't like it.
Frasier: No, no, I do like it. I've liked it for eight years.

Todd: Hey, you want to come see my new car? I have a feeling you're gonna like it.
Frasier: I have a feeling I will.